Beautiful Books And Reviews

58) Driveless

Title: Driveless
Author:
What is 'Driveless'?
'Driveless' is a sci-fi about a boy who is 'Driveless' and takes on a journey of strength and embattlement as he fights to prove himself

Rating -
9/10

EBI -
- See * in the blurb section where there may be typos/errors
- In the blurb, what are you gesturing to as her expression? Her being pale or the tears? You might want to consider more description before you denote it as an expression, as readers may see expressions as smiles or frowns or bright eyes and wide mouths etc.
- Watch your tenses, sometimes you use 'will' instead of 'would', but this could be interpreted as me just being too picky
- In your descriptions of surroundings, try to use more detail and link to the characters or their past/futures/memories or experiences or their thoughts and feelings
- Try to explain the characters' theories. When Kye tests her after she rejects fighting him (SPOILER ALERT) and he later says to Miyu that there were three paths, you should try and explain what each path would mean and show him, because this would further demonstrate his intelligence and the psychology to the reader (just a suggestion, though)
- When action happens, try to make sure you're getting it across to the audience. For example, when characters attack each other, sometimes the actions get lost in the descriptions - we know something huge has happened but don't know specifically. When you're writing, you imagine actions and create a translation to show this, but make sure this translation can lead solely back to the imagination rather than just reference it (if this doesn't make sense, just think of it like the description of attacks is amazing, just make sure that you read it back and within your description, you've clearly stated who is attacking who, how, why, and where etc)
- Make sure to remain consistent with your use of italics. For example, if italics are used to show thoughts, then in the description it talks as though from Kye's perspective, be careful that the narrative doesn't get confused with the character (i.e. the reader becomes unsure of what person it is in)
- More clarity in description on Drives, what they are, why they're important, all the background information. This may be planned for a lot later in the story and it's great having the gradual reveal, but don't be afraid to pause to explain to the reader or give them some extra information so they know why what's happening is happening
- Develop on your characters' pasts - as many of them as possible. For example, Kye has a huge reaction when the receptionist person asks if it's just him, you can link back to this a lot and use the people in the school and their comments/insults of him to gage another reaction like this and again expose to the reader that there's more there. This is also key with Miyu and how we see his past in how he's had worse past misconceptions of being a girl, however, you could also hint/reference/explore the pasts of characters such as teachers/role models and Hinata Maruka. For example, the teachers/masters etc are seen as perfect and presented like movie stars, but you could also link in mysterious and alluding/leading sentences, such as 'however, looks are deceiving to what laid beneath' or if they did certain things to get them there, or how their beauty affected their work - like with the nurse, you could also talk of how her beauty has hindered her. Just dry and develop on the characters to a more relatable, thorough, and intriguing extent. Every character description so far has opened up a world of potential for its each unique story, don't be afraid to give yourself plenty of opportunities for spin-offs or side plots etc.

Review:
'Driveless' is not only beautifully descriptive, but comments on society and its need of hierarchy and power in a uniquely original angle of light. The description of characters lights the story, as well as the settings, up wonderfully but also illuminates how every individual will contribute to a fantastic plot filled with action, suspicion, mystery and intelligence. 'Driveless' makes interesting comments on Japanese and other Asian cultures as well as drawing from elements referencing sorts of psychology and strategies in warfare and aggression. The emotive language perfectly attenuates a magnificent air of progression and spiralling direction as the main character, Kye, not only works towards their own goal, but also causes visible ripples in everyone else's, forging both friendships and enemies in both comedic and tense situations.

Blurb -
'Book 1 of the Driveless Series

"You persist and persist but you always get beaten down! Someone like you will always get beaten down! Why do you keep pushing yourself!?" Sparkling droplets of water cascaded down her pale cheeks. An unsightly expression for someone so beautiful.

His lips turned up in a bloodied smirk as his trembling body push him to his feet. Warm red eyes set on the girl below, on the tears running down her face. Each tear* shed for him.

"I persist because I am like me. I'm going to show everybody that I'm not a pushover. I'm Driveless, but I'm not powerless."

-

Kye Horval was always different from others. He lacked something everybody else had, something that separated him from a stuck-up society.

Unfortunately, fate threw him into the heart of that very society. A school with the sole* purpose to train the people who shut him out. He was left with only one option. Prove he was just as good as them all.

Unlikely alliances form, enemies are undoubtedly made, and weapons are drawn. All the while,* a dark storm brews within the shadows. High School life was never this difficult, but it was always a challenge.'

Recommended?
- Completely and utterly.

'Driveless' can now be found on the author^'s profile or in the Reviewed Books Library.

Happy Reading Lovelies <3