Glee One-Shots (Discontinued)

Paintball

"So the teams are: Finn, Blaine, Brittany, Quinn, Mercedes, and Mike versus Kurt, Rachel, Santana, Puck, Sam, and Tina," Artie announced. "It's capture the flag, not kill your opponent with bruises from the paintball gun. Got it? And no sleeping with the enemy!"

Kurt and Blaine instantly wailed at being in separate teams.

Santana snorted, "I've been sleeping with Brittany since Freshman year, so technically I'm already sleeping with the enemy. However, for this game, my loyalty lies with my team. Then after I win, I'll take Brittany home and-"

"No one needs to know about your sex life, Santana!" Quinn snorted, lightly pushing her friend's shoulder.

"No way, I gotta hear the details. I love me some girl-on-girl action," Puck smirked, his eyes darting between Brittany and Santana.

Finn and Rachel were in a heated make out session as if they were saying good bye and moving away from each other forever. "I'm gonna miss you, Finn."

"I'm gonna miss you, too, Rachel. Finchel is forever. Remember that!"

"What the actual hell?" Mercedes scoffed, turning to her boyfriend. "Sam, why did Artie have to separate them? Finn won't be able to keep it in his pants."

"If you hadn't been so wrapped up in each other like a bunch of fools-" Tina started.

"Artie separated the couples so you wouldn't get distracted," Mike finished.

"Leave it to the Asians to know everything," Sam chuckled light-heartedly.

"Well if you had been listening-" Mike began.

"Artie said he separated us for that very reason," Tina ended.

"Okay, am I the only one creeped out by how they're finishing each other's sentences?" Mercedes asked, and everyone nodded in agreement.

"Let's get this party started!" Artie broke the awkward silence, clapping his hands together once.

"Okay," Kurt, the team captain, rubbed his hands together as the team gathered around their territory. "Santana and Sam, you're the only ones other than me who have played paintball before. You know the best hiding spots, so you're in charge of Rachel-"

"Wait what?" Rachel almost shrieked. "Santana is gonna shove me under a bus!"

"Look, hobbit. I may be a bit of a bitch, but you're my teammate now so you're under my protection. Cherish it while you can," Santana smiled lightly. "Why do you want us in charge of Rachel?" She directed her attention back to Kurt, her game face in motion.

"If Rachel let me finish, this would've taken a shorter time. Anyway," Kurt continued. "No one is gonna suspect Rachel to be the one to go out. They're gonna suspect Santana and Sam. So you two are in charge of telling her the best spots. Puck, you're defense with me. We're gonna hide in the bushes."

"Wait, what about me?" Tina asked in a tiny voice.

"Oh yeah..." Kurt rubbed his neck. He forgot she existed sometimes. "You can go with Rachel. Everyone know what you're doing?"

Meanwhile, Finn, the other team captain, explained what his gameplan was. "Brittany, you're the fastest. I know you're not good with directions, so Mike is gonna come with you to find their flag. Mercedes, you and I are defense. Santana and Sam have paintballed here before, so we should look out for them. Blaine and Quinn, you can climb trees, right? And you've both played before?" The pair nodded. "Awesome, you'll be our sharpshooters. Any questions?"

"If I start dancing, do you think the trees will tango with me?" Brittany questioned seriously.

Everyone looked at her for a moment, wishing Santana was there so she could explain to her in the gentlest way. "No, B," Quinn coughed. "If you start dancing, I'm sure Mike will dance along with you. But we can't do that in the middle of the game, okay?"