Our Love Story |Dej Loaf and Jacquees|

41.

1 1/2 months later.
•DeJa•
2:30pm.

I'm about two months and a week pregnant. I won't lie I'm starting to show and my self esteem is slowly decreasing as the days go by. Shit is really infuriating

The only person who knows is Rodriquez. That's really it. I guess I'm losing a lot of self esteem because pregnancy doesn't really do me well. I tend to breakdown. Not because of hormones, or because of this and that. I'm stressed. Even during my first pregnancy, it was like I was holding the weight of the world on my shoulders.

Rodriquez has been doing back to back shows for the last two weeks. I haven't seen him in almost three weeks. And I haven't heard from him an almost two days. That's one part of it. Kamoni has been dealing with strep throat and she's been sick and I hate seeing my baby sick. That's the second part of it. The third part is my family. They haven't contacted me in almost eleven years. It's now hitting me the hardest. They really don't care, at all. The last part is the kids are struggling as a whole, it's really stressful.

Back to reality, I'm staying at Rodriquez house, I've been staying here for the last month. Half of me and the girls stuff is here anyways. So this technically our home, we just haven't finalized stuff yet. I'm even scared myself to tell Derrick that I'm leaving that house he bought me. It'll cause a lot of drama and I know it.

My phone began buzzing on the nightstand, pushing the empty Häagan-Dazs ice cream tubs away, I grabbed my phone. Canby Lane.

"Hello?"

"Good afternoon Ms Banks, this is Mr. Grant calling, I'm just calling to inform you that Ms. Kamoni Banks has received a week suspension for being involved In a physical fight today" I sighed with frustration, Now this to add to everything? And my last name is not BANKS! Damn.

"It's Ms. Monet, so do I come get her or is she going to finish this school day?"

"She has already been picked up by her father Mr. Derrick Banks, she was sent home with a packet of work which she is required to complete in the time she's been suspended, please talk to her and hopefully she'll come back with a new mindset"

"Alright thanks" I hung up without wasting any time.

Now both of my daughters aren't going to school. Could things get any worse?

I laid in bed thinking of all the possible things that my boyfriend could be doing. Most thoughts were sour unhealthy thoughts. I really do miss every last piece of him. He's the only one who could help me get threw this. He brings me joy.

I guess you could say pregnancy is making me like this. Actually I don't know what's making me like this. I don't. I hate this stage I hate having to hate things.

The door to my room opened and it was Kahari. Under her eyes dark and red. Nose red, sniffling.

"M-m-Momma I got s-suspended" She sniffled

"I know you did. I'm not happy with you Kahari, this is absolute bullshit you know better!" I slightly raised my voice on her.

"Daddy bring you?" I asked

"Yeah" She sniffled

"This is absolute bullshit Kahari"

"Sh—" She refrained her speech, she know I taught her to never respond when I'm yelling at her. Always let an adult talk even if they're wrong.

"This is not the lifestyle I want you to live, Kahari I don't want you to be known as that one beautiful fortunate girl who don't behave" Tears rolled down her face but I had to lecture her it's only right.