roses//g.d

19

scarlett:

after getting my chick-fil-a and going home, i began to think about how this whole 'living by myself' thing is going to work.

i can't pay rent in cash, and i don't even know how to pay rent. after my mom and dad died, aiden took care of that since he was of age. but, he obviously can't do it anymore.

putting rent aside, how am going to buy groceries? i don't have a job, and i certainly don't have money.

i know i've made some drug deals before to make money, but only when aiden was with me. i can't imagine doing that shit by myself.

now to think of it, im 17, im not legally allowed to live by myself. what if cps come's here one day and takes me away? what if none of my other relatives want me so i go to an orphanage? no parent wants to adopt a 17 year old, my life can be ruined forever.

fuck, i can't deal with this right now.

i let out a huff of air and made my way to aidens room, i looked under his bed and took out a shoe box. i opened the shoe box and grabbed his bong, and tiny bag of weed. i haven't gotten high in a long time, but i don't want to think about any of this shit right now.

i filled up the bong with a little bit of water, and then filled the bowl half way with weed. i lit the bowl and watched as the long part filled up with smoke, then i pulled the bowl out and inhaled it.

at first, i coughed a lot. but as i kept going and getting back into the gist of it, i was completely fine.

being a little bit of a light weight, it didn't take me too much to get high. after i felt my body start to tingle, i kept going and going until i couldn't even feel if my eyes were open or not.

i lied down on aidens bed and looked up at his ceiling, his ceiling looked green with pink dots floating all around it.

i grabbed my phone and took a picture of my eyes, they had a pink tint to them where you can tell i was baked, but nothing major.

i decided to send the picture to gilinsky as a joke, so i began to type in his name in the search bar.

i wasn't paying attention and before i could stop it, i sent the picture to grayson instead of gilinsky.

*
please dont think im a bad person yikkkeeess