THE MURDERER AND I

chapter fourteen: secrets and promises

I woke up in your arms. It was dark outside, so I guessed it was early. You were still asleep, so I slipped out from your embrace to check my phone. Missed calls and messages from Beth, Charlotte, Bryan, Charlie, and lots of other people. Lots. Then it all came flooding back, everything that happened last night. I killed someone. I actually took someone's life away. So why did it feel so good? Why did I feel so free? It was as if a huge weight had been taken off my shoulders.

"Mornin' peaches." you whispered, flirting.

"Hey." I replied softly. You wrapped your arms around from behind me. I stiffened.

"What is it?" You asked carefully, your eyes worried.

"I just can't believe that yesterday really happened." I lied back down next to you. You pulled me close and I laid my head on your chest.

"But doesn't it feel better? Don't you feel so much better?" It scared me how what you said was so accurate to what I was thinking.

I nodded my head and managed to weakly say, "It does." You looked down at me, a huge grin on your face. "It really does." It was silent for a moment, until you broke it. I had no clue in that moment, but I would later realize that the question you asked was what ultimately started this whole romantic tragedy. A romantic, violent, and lustful tragedy. A twisted love story.

"Does it make you feel like you could do it again?"

The question echoed in my head, and before I knew what I was saying I heard myself whisper yes. Yes?
What was I saying? I felt like I was in a trance, not knowing what I was feeling or what was coming out of my mouth. But then I became conscious of the fact that I really did feel this way. You made me feel this way. You showed me that yesterday was only a taste, compared to the full course meal I could have. A taste of what we could do together, a taste of all the things we could achieve.

You pulled me closer, and said softly into my ear, "Shall this be our little secret?"
I rolled over to face you, kissing your collarbone lightly, and I smiled, no longer hesitant about what I was going to say. "Forever and always."

"Promise?"
"Promise."

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You drove me back to my house after breakfast and your long awaited make out session. You drove off, promising to finish what you had started at your place. I laughed and rolled my eyes at your dirty remark. You always seemed to make me laugh, even when I had so many things on my mind. So many things to worry about. God my head was pounding. Steph. What would happen on Monday? Would I get pulled in by the cops for an interview? Would there be a funeral? Of course there would be a funeral, Steph's family was filthy rich. What would happen to my school? I mean, the most popular girl was dead, surely some of her airhead followers would be having melt downs. I tried to ignore these thoughts as I walked into my house.

"Where did you go last night?" I heard my mom say, catching me off guard. Surprising, she actually noticed I was gone.

"I left the party early and spent the night at a friends house." I lied. I mean, it wasn't really a lie. I did leave early, and I did spend the night at a friends house. A special friend. The type of friend you make out with, and maybe occasionally murder with.

"Did you hear about Steph?" She asked, her tone serious. Of course I heard about Steph, I fucking killed her.

"No, I left the party early," I replied, in the most innocent voice I could pull off. "Did she get drunk or something?"

"She's dead. Some deranged teenager shot her in the head." My mother said, as if she knew everything. Maybe I was deranged, I thought, almost smiling.

"What?"I cried, managing to let a few tears slip down my cheeks.I was a damn good actress wasn't I? I felt my mother's arms around me, something I hadn't felt in a long time.

"That could have been you Bella." she whispered. "I was so worried last night." My eyes widened in shock. My mom? Worried about me? I don't know, maybe she was changing, realizing her mistakes. I hugged her back, grateful for this moment, even though I knew it wouldn't last.

We released our embrace, and I went to shower upstairs. As I took off my jeans and t-shirt, I thought about what was going to happen tomorrow. All I knew for sure was that it was gonna be a hell of a ride.