Depressed (a 5sos fanfic)

Chapter 12

Emma's P.O.V

So I am assuming Ashton and I are back together but I'm entirely sure I can trust him just yet. I tried suicide again but Dawn stopped me like last time. I just wonder how long it will take for her to do what Maddie did. I am currently laying in my room with Ashton watching a movie. Its the notebook. We are about halfway threw it when I hear  Dawn and Harry yelling. "Get out of here, She doesn't want to see you." I wonder who that is. I slowly get up only to have Ashton pull me back down. "Where are you going?" He asks sleepily. "I'm just going to get something to drink" I say. "Okay" He says  letting me go. I get up and walk to where I can see Harry and Dawn. They are yelling at Maddie. What is she doing here? I just leave knowing they have it under control and go get a glass of water from the kitchen. I go back into my room and see Ashton asleep.  Not wanting to wake him I stop the movie and quietly get back in bed. I  wrap my arms around his waist and put my head on his chest. I start drawing random designs on his chest, when I notice the scars on his wrist. Some are older and some look fairly new, Just like the ones on my thighs. I lift my self up on my elbow and bring his wrist closer. I kiss his wrist, I don't want him to cut, but I know how it feels and what it does for me. How could I make him stop when I do it also . I hold his hand and lay back down, falling asleep this time. I wake up to  Ashton playing with my hair. "Morning baby" He said in his adorable morning voice. I just look at him then hide my face in his chest. I wish it could be  just us. No one else to get in the way or to mess us up, no one to make us want to cut. "I noticed your scars" I say my face still hidden from him. "You did?"  he asks and stops playing with my hair. "Yea" I say looking up at him. "I wish I could tell you to stop, and that you shouldn't do that. But I do the same thing" I say looking up at him. He looks at me then at his wrist. "I love you." He says. "I love you too." I say. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you" He said. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about me either. I thought I was finally over it, but I guess no one really is over their depression. They just get used to it." I say. "I think your right" Ashton said kissing me. When we pull back I smile and he laughs. "I think we should go on a date" He says. "No I wanna stay right here" I say not ready to face the world. They probably already know what happened between us. But the door opens and Luke walks in. "I'm sorry Emma but I have to take Ashton away from you, we have an interview in and hour." He says. "No" I pout tightening my arms around Ashton's waist. "I'm sorry baby" Ashton says kissing the top of my head. "Okay" I say removing my arms from around Ashton's waist.  He gets up and walks over to Luke. I get up and follow him. "Emma, I didn't know you cut" Luke says his eyes wide. I quickly look down, I am wearing a pair of pink pajama shorts most of my scars on full display. I run into my closet and put on a pair of sweat pants. "Sorry" I say when I come out. "Just stop" Luke says. "I would if I could" I say sighing. Ashton hugs me. As soon as Ashton lets go Luke hugs me. "Bye Ash" I say once Luke lets go. Ashton kisses my check and I wave at Luke. Then they are gone. I get a text from Ashton saying what channel the interview will be on. I go into the living room and put the TV on that channel. Then I go into the bathroom to do my morning duties. Then I go into the living room and watch the end of some news thing and then the interviewer introduces them. "Hello this morning we are joined by the band five seconds of summer." The boys all wave. "So Ashton, Michael, we are wondering who these two beautiful girls are." The interviewer asked. Then two pictures come up on the screen, one is of Ashton and I, and the other is of Maddie and Michael. Ashton smiles and says. "The girl that is with me is the love of m life, Hi Emma" He waves. I smile and text him hi "Is she watching this?" The interviewer asked. "Yea." Ashton says. "Well Emma you got yourself a good one, except for the fact that he used to cut" She says. "I hope you know that she doesn't care" Luke says defending his friend. Ashton looks hurt, stupid interviewer she doesn't know what its like. "Anyways, who is that with you Michael" She asks.  Michael looks down. "My ex" He says. "What's her name" she asks. "I don't want to talk about it" Michael says. "okay moving on. So Luke , Calum, and Michael are single girls" She says. "That is true" Calum says. That interviewer is a jerk, I hate her. "Time for a commercial brake, but when we come back there will be more questions and a performance from the boys." then is goes to commercial. Ashton texts back hey. I' m sorry about what she said. I text back. its fine just come down here he says. okay I reply then go to my room and change into a pair of black skinny jeans and an 'I heart aussie boy shirt and my gray 5sos hoodie because its cold outside. When I walk out Dawn asks where I'm going. "To see Ashton" I reply then go into the bathroom to put on deodorant and perfume. Then I grab my keys and drive down to the station. When I get there I walk in and text Ashton I'm here, As soon as I send it Ashton comes running out of the studio. "I kind of ran out of the interview" he says. "Why" I ask. "To see you" He replies. "weirdo" I say. "come on" He says pulling me to the studio. He stops when we get to the door. "I just noticed your hoodie" he smiles. "I like it" He says again. I just laugh. Then he pulls me into the studio. "am I even allowed in here" I ask. "I don't know" he says, but continues pulling me. "Let go" I say then he does. He walks back onto the stage. "Where did you go" The interviewer asks. "I'm sorry my girlfriend is here" He says. "Really?" the interviewer asks. "Yea" He says. "Can you convince her to come up here" She asks. Ashton just nods. He gets up and walks over to me. "No" I say. "To late" then he picks me up "Ashton put me down" I scream. "Never" he laughs. Then we are on the stage and I immediately hide my face in Ashton's chest.  "She's a little camera shy" He says sitting down with me still in his arms. "I like her hoodie" The interviewer says. "Thank you" I say still hiding my face. I look up at Ashton. "I hate you" I say. "No you don't" He laughs. "True" I say. He loosens his grip on me giving me room to turn around if I want to, which I don't. I just take off my hoodie. "is it hot in here" Ashton asks. I don't reply. "Great now I'm getting the silent treatment.  "Well Emma, how do you feel about cutting" The interviewer asks. I look at Ashton and then turn around in his lap. "Why do you ask" I say now into it. "Because Ashton used to" She said. I just glare at her. "Actually I don't mind because I used to, I only stopped when I found out about One Direction and Five Seconds Of Summer." I say in a matter-of-fact tone. "Well I don't see any scars." She says. "That's because I cut my thighs, I actually attempted suicide the day I found out about them" I say. "wow" She says. "Yea, and if you don't mind I'll be leaving now" I say getting up gabbing my hoodie and walk off stage and out of the camera. I stand there and watch the rest of the interview ending with the boys singing Heartache on the Big Screen. When they get off the stage I hug Ashton. "I love you" He says. "I love you to" I smile. Ashton and I get into my car and the rest of the boys are in Luke's. Ashton and I go to my house and the other boys go the hotel, When we walk in Dawn hugs me. "I watched it, you kind of left it on when you left" she said. "That was brave" Harry said coming up behind her. "Thanks" I say.

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sorry I haven't updated in a wile, I got a new phone and have been trying to get used to it.

bye

love you

~ Ash