Supernatural Imagines and Stories

Stop It

Warning: angst, depression, talk of suicide, language. This will more than likely trigger many people, just a major warning!

You were pacing around and around, never stopping. Your thoughts were racing and you couldn't catch your breath. "Stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it." You kept muttering over and over, covering your ears over the voices whispering seductive lies in your mind. You glanced over to the worst liar you know, just lounging around on a sofa he conjured. "You know," he began. "if you keep talking to yourself, people will think you're crazy. Your brothers will send you to the loony bin and forget all about you. We wouldn't that, now would we?" You pressed your nails into the palm of your hand. "Just shut up. My brothers love me. They wouldn't leave me." Lucifer lazily looked at you, smirking. "Isn't that what happened with dear Samuel?" That one sentence set you reeling. "Shut up!!" You yelled, rushing out the room. As you ran out, you didn't notice Sam and Dean making their way out of the kitchen. "Hey ___-" Sam started, reaching out for you, but you cut him off. "Just stop it! I can't take this!" The tears began to slowly track down your cheeks. You rushed out the door, racing to your sanctuary in the woods.

Finally slowing once you hit a clearing, you lost it. "When did this happen to me? When did I become so numb? Where's the person I know? Why?!" You screamed to the sky. Clutching your hair, you sobbed. "Where is the real me?" A presence made itself known in the shadows. "Well, I figured it happened once you tried to save your big brother. Little ___ taking on the big bad Lucifer so brother wouldn't have to. You did this to yourself. You can't take this much longer, can you? You should just give in to those whispers you hear in the early morning light. Because whatever you do, you will always end up here. No matter what choices you make, whatever details you alter, we will always end up here. You going crazy trying to save everyone but yourself. Just give up ___, I know you want to." Your knees hit the cold, hard ground, tears streaming down your face. "N-No. They-They want me. They-They wouldn't-" A sob cut your sentence short. Gasping for breath, you dug your fingers into your hand. It took longer than it should have to notice the blood drip..drip...dripping from your palm. You uncurled your fingers to inspect it. Lucifer leaned to taunt in your ear. "See ___, see how much better you feel. Just imagine how it would feel pouring instead of just this little stream. Should we find out?" You shakily stood and shook your head. "Just shut up!" With that, you ran back to the bunker.

You slammed the door and collapsed against it. Sliding down, you noticed your brothers just watching you. "___..." Dean tried to talk. "What?" you snapped. "You wanna send me into the panic room again, huh? How about you just get rid of me all together." Sam and Dean looked like you slapped them. "___ what are you talking about?" Sam questioned. "I can't take this! I don't know who I am anymore! I can't find myself. How many more times are you guys gonna lock me up? How many more times are you gonna trust each other or anyone in this damn world over me? What are you guys gonna do when you find out that your ___ is going insane? He's right. You'll send me away and think nothing of it. Just glad to be rid of me, probably." You had stood up and your chest was heaving by the time you finished. There was silence. You could hear clapping from your left. "Good show! Bravo! Encore!" He smiled. Tears fell as he just kept clapping. You finally covered your ears and sank back to the ground, rocking back and forth. "Dean, she's killing herself." Sam muttered to your brother. You heard it anyway and croaked out a simple "So?" The brothers took a step back, sadness and confusion in their eyes. "What happened to you ___?" Sam gasped. "You did. " You smiled humorlessly.