Friendzoned

39. Map

I was leaving tomorrow. Mom had ordered everyone’s ticket yesterday while I was at work, which I was thankful for because I don’t think I would’ve been able to handle that. Niall and I didn’t get to hang out much yesterday, due to our last days of work and his soccer practice, so I lied in bed alone that night, fighting off tears. I tried not to think about the fact that I had no idea when I was going to see him in person again before next summer, or that fact that we both had that secret back-of-your-mind thought that questioned how this would work out. Instead I played sad music that didn’t apply to my situation at all, just because it was the only thing I could control right now.

My eyes were locked on a crack in the ceiling, listening to Lana Del Rey’s weirdly angelically droning voice playing in the background. I was fully dressed, shoes and sunglasses and everything as I lie in bed, waiting for Niall to come get me. He was taking me to Harry and Marcel’s house—they wanted to give me birthday presents since they didn’t know if they would actually see me on my birthday…which they probably won’t. The thought my eyes water, yet again, behind my dark lenses. Good thing I didn’t bother messing with any eye makeup today.

Brice has just left only an hour ago to say her goodbye, since she was leaving today. It was a fest of tears as we tried to share I miss yous, I love yous and talk to you when I cans. The thing with saying goodbye to Brice is I knew what would happen afterwards. We talk a couple times a week, and Skye and FaceTime—but when it comes to Niall though, I had no idea. No matter how much we said we were going to keep this going…something still told me not to be too expectant.

“You look like you’re about to get placed in a coffin.” I heard Louis say from the door. I gave him no regard, not in the mood for jokes, and kept my eyes on the ceiling. “It’ll be alright, HG.” Again, I ignored him, lying still on my bed. There were heavy feet coming up the stairs and I just knew it was Niall.

“Shit…I—Hunter, are you sick?”

I finally let out a sigh and sat up, “I’m fine.” Now that I was looking at him, Niall didn’t look so good either—but I think it was from the last of sleep we’d both gotten over the past week. He had thin dark circles under his eyes, but otherwise just looked a little upset.

“Ready?” He asked. I nodded and scooted off the bed, smoothing my dress out as I walked towards him. “You look pretty.” I stutter stepped a little, after getting so used to him merely saying ‘nice’, ‘pretty’ was still weird for me to hear. And he said it without blushing as Louis stood next to him.

“Thanks.”

He clutched my hand before turning to Louis, “If I don’t see you again today or tomorrow, it’s been a great summer, mate. I’ll be watching each Indiana soccer games on the telly from me dorm.” I looked away from them as they said loose goodbyes, unsure if this was real or if they’ll see each other before we have to get on the plane.

“….love you bro.” Louis said. Stop…please, no… “You’re a good kid, Niall.” They gave each other a casual hug, Niall minding the skin thing, before he led me downstairs. Niall said another round of goodbyes to Mom, Dad and Chip in the kitchen, as well as El who was walking in from the pool.

We walked out the front door and got in the car, then just sat there. Neither of us talked, nor even looking at the other. There was just dead silence and stillness. Don’t cry. I stared out the windshield trying to distract myself with the way the flowers in front of the house across the street swayed in the slight breeze.

Minutes went by and still no movement.

I decided to speak first, “Did you sleep well last night?” I whispered, cursing the way my voice sounded tiny and weak.