Friendzoned

28. It's cream

I woke up to the sound of laughter—Niall’s laughter. Once I’d creaked one eye open, I saw him jump over the fence to come sit next to me. I could smell the beer coming off him, and I wondered exactly how drunk he was. We sat in silence for a while before I leaned my head on his shoulder, silently asking to be held. I’m not usually the one to initiate affection because, still, he makes me weird. I don’t want him to think I’m clingy or anything, but right now I just need some kind of regard.

“Aw,” He mumbled before sliding his arm around me waist. “I’m guessing the dinner didn’t go well?” I shook my head. “You should’ve had a food-fight. That would’ve made everything—” I shook my head again. When he continued his tone was serious, “It was that bad?”

I resisted the urge to nod. “Yeah.”

“What happened?” He whispered, tracing the tip of his nose along my jaw. “Tell Daddy what’s wrong.” I couldn’t help but laugh. Only he could get a chuckle out of me no matter what mood I’m in.How does he do it?

“C.L. were screaming at each other.” I paused and shifted closer to him. “Chip said I…” I stopped short. It suddenly hit me that Chip was right; I did come between Niall and his girlfriend when it comes down to it. But it wasn’t like how Chip was trying to make it sound…there was more behind it than just ‘you were the side-bitch’.

I rephrased. “Do you miss what you had with Eileen?” He stiffed against me.

“Uh…why?”

“Answer,” I begged.

He swallowed before shaking his head, “No, I don’t.” I let out a relieved breath. “Hunter…she and I were just…we were just for sex, yaknow? Even when we were dating, she didn’t talk to me like you do. She doesn’t know stuff about me that you do. I mean, I liked her sometimes, but most of the time…” He trailed off rubbing his free hand through his hair. “And I didn’t like how she talked about you.” He mumbled. “Why are you asking?”

“I just wanted to know.” It wasn’t a complete lie.

“Are you mad at me?” He pulled back to look me in the eye.

I shook my head, “No, no. I’m not mad.” He gave me a small smile before pecking me on the cheek. “Hug?” I whispered. I didn’t get a verbal response, but he wrapped his other arm around me, pulling my body into his lap. For a while we just sat there hugging in silence.

After a couple minutes though, a pending question popped into my head. Sometimes the thoughts are sprinkled into my brain and I just think…he must miss having sex since he used to do it so often. But he’s never said anything to me about it, nor did he try anything. We haven’t even gone past second base—to which we’ve only been to twice. Part of me knew it was because of the Alec thing, and another part of me screamed that it was because I’m just a friend.

There’s only a month and a week left…how do I get out of the friendzone? How can I be more? I’m not trying to fuck and chuck him…but I want to be…that way with him. And I can’t just come out and say it, right? I mean that would be weird.

My thoughts were distracted as he started kissing along my neck, humming a low song I couldn’t recognize. Desire burst inside of me…

“How was your guy time?” I breathed.

He shrugged as he grabbed one of my legs to swing it around so I was straddling him. “Was too many girls there for it to be guy time.” He mumbled against my skin. Girls? “I wished you were there.”

“To be your wingman?” I half joked.

“No,” he shook his head. “So you can kiss me with these soft lips.” I laughed and rolled my eyes as he gave me a peck. “And I just wanted to be with you…like now.” (Aka: we would’ve just talked the whole time) “I’m still a bit buzzed.”