One Shots #VariaSquad

Na Sikha Jeena Tere Bina Humdum

He had hoped that, as time passed, it would get better, that the nightmares would decrease in frequency and intensity, that he wouldn't wake up with that crushing weight on his chest but it doesn't. If anything, it seems to get worse over time. The longer he goes without seeing her, the more it hurts. It kills him that he can't go to her, talk to her, let her take away the nightmares like he used to; he has to keep it all to himself because nobody else will understand. She's the only one who would understand, the only one who could possibly know what he's feeling, and he knows that because he knows she felt it too, watched her go through it. It's the vicious ways of the circle of life; he has to suffer this way because she did. He lost her because she lost herself and now he's losing himself too. 

He thinks that things might look up when he finds out that she's seeing someone - even if it tears him apart that she's with someone else. Something inside him hopes that the fact that she's got someone will mean that she's at least taking care of herself. His hopes are dashed when he next sees her; the bags under her eyes are deeper and now everyone has noticed that the light is gone, she is no longer the easy comforting presence. His nightmares that night are worse than ever before. Screams rip through the air, so loud his brother and babhi come running into the room, thinking there must be some danger. He thrashes and flails, trying to untangle himself from his sheets so that he can go, get to where he needs to be. When he finally comes to his senses, he sees his brother holding a hand to his eye and his babhi giving him a look filled with sorrow. None of them say anything for a long while; it is only when the door is closing that he speaks, a broken whisper that shatters the silence though it is barely audible. Alia. 

The two who had been making their way out of the room stop in their tracks, shocked at hearing the word. It is only two syllables, seemingly insignificant, but it is the first time in years that he's said her name and it catalyses his worst breakdown yet. He doesn't scream but cries silently, tears streaming down his face as he murmurs the same word over and over again. None of them know what he means to say, whether he is calling for her or missing her or pleading for her to comeback, not even Varun himself. 

It is in the middle of his breakdown that the phone call comes. Rohit glances at the phone and sees it's an unsaved number so doesn't answer. Varun follows his brother's gaze and sees the number on the screen, his head clearing slightly as he recognises it. 'Answer it.' he mutters. 

'Varun, it's an unknown number, it's probably not-' 

'Just answer it.' he repeats, knowing full well who's on the other end of the line; he remembers the number even if he didn't bother to save it. Giving his younger brother a dubious look, Rohit picks up the phone with a tentative hello. 

'Rohit? Where's Varun?' comes the strangely familiar voice. It takes the man a minute to place it, shock and confusion coursing through him when he does. 

'Shaheen?' he asks, the word making Varun's head shoot up, heart pounding, because it shouldn't be Shaheen, it's Alia's number, the one she told him was for emergencies only. He hears his brother say that now is not the best time but, before the sentence can be finished, he has taken the phone.

'What's wrong?' he asks, uncaring of the annoyed look his brother is giving him or the quiet protests of his babhi. 

'I, uh, it's not that important. If it's not a good time...you know what, it really doesn't matter.' Varun knows that Shaheen is lying, can tell from the way she speaks, remembers the way both of the Bhatt sisters talk when they lie, carefully avoiding the subject at hand. There must have been something in his tone of voice that indicated his brother had been telling the truth, it's not the best time.

Truthfully, it probably wasn't the best time; he was mixed up and confused, but the fact that her sister had called him in the middle of the night told him that Alia needed him and he had promised her that he'd always be there, she just had to call. Even if it had been so long since they'd spoken, he is not about to break his promise. 'Shaheen, it does matter. If it didn't you wouldn't have called. What's wrong?' he asks again, his voice taking on the somewhat authoritative tone that he had often had to use with Alia when she edged around a subject.