Love for a Lifetime

Chapter 94

    "So how was everyone's day?" Jackie asked as everyone's silverware squeaked on their plates.

    "Pretty good. Hey, this is really good, Mama," Harrison said taking a bite of macaroni and cheese on his plate.

    "You like it? I added bread crumbs on top and added extra cheese."

    "Mmmm, well it's good."

    "I really like the cornbread," Caroline said as she furiously buttered a piece.

    "Mommy, did you make dessert?" Patrick asked.

    "No, I'm sorry, darling, but we can make Christmas cookies together and snack on them tonight."

    Her five children smiled at her and all offered to help. "This will be fun!" Jackie exclaimed.

    After they finished eating and cleaned up their dishes, they planned how to make all of their cookies. They had three days until Christmas and none of the food or cookies were going to cook or bake themselves.

    "Alrighty, Patrick, you're going to be with Mommy," Harrison said as they planned, "John-John, it's you and me, bud. And, Arabella, you and Caroline together."

    Jackie smiled as Harrison organized everything for her. "Girls, you will be in charge of sugar cookies and chocolate chip cookies. Mom, you got the pecan tassies and peanut blossoms. Then we will do the nut rolls for you."

    "Sounds lovely," Jackie sait patting his back.

    The whole family got to work and by ten in the evening, they had finished. Patrick had fallen asleep and Jackie went to pick him up. "Mom, I'll carry him up to bed," Harrison said to his mother.

    Jackie sighed and mouthed, "Thank you," with a great deal of relief. Her baby had gotten quite heavy in seven years. "Off to bed kiddos. We'll all go to the mall tomorrow. Caroline, you can hang out with your friends and we'll shop for last minute Christmas presents."

   
    Jackie dreaded going up to bed. Jack was completely broken. Even when he had cheated on her years and years ago, he hadn't acted like this toward their kids. She opened the door and found him reading a book, "Put that damned book away," she said looking at the cover that read, What Could've Been Done Differently in Vietnam. "It's really easy to look back and say you should've done something differently, but in the moment you try to make the best decision you can. You tried."

    "I fucked up! I got thousands of people killed because I made the wrong damn decision."

    "Go to bed, Jack," she said gently pulling the book out of his hands and closing it. He began to cry. She sat on the edge of his bed, "See a psychologist, Jack. It might help you."

    "I'm not seeing a shrink, Jackie."

    "Jack,your father died and you are being torn apart by every paper in this country for something that is not solely your fault. You need to talk to someone. You won't talk to me or the kids or Bobby or your mother or Teddy... I just don't know what to do."

    "I'm sorry that I flipped out on Harrison."

    "Well, you need to tell your son that, not me."

    "I will. thank God our kids are getting older."

    "Why do you say that? Patrick's only seven." Jackie said feeling her heart skip a beat.

    "Well, think about it could you imagine if they were toddlers again. I'm fifty-two years old and you're forty. We're too damn old to be chasing after them."

    Jackie turned over in bed and closed her eyes. She whispered, "Good night," and then felt tears fall from her eyes.

    Jack heard her muffled sobs and he rubbed her shoulder, "Hey, what's wrong?"

    "It's nothing. I'm just really tired and you know how I cry when I'm tired."

    The next morning Jackie got up early and walked to Bobby's house and knocked on the front door which Bobby answered promptly. "Hey, what's up, Jackie?"

    "Hey, friend," she sighed.

    "Come in. No one else is awake yet."

    They sat down at the kitchen table, "Coffee, Mrs. Kennedy?" he asked as he poured himself a cup in his bathrobe and plaid pajama pants.

    "No, I'm afraid I can't."

    "'I'm afraid I can't', what's going on with you?"

    "Bob, Jack made the comment last night that he's glad our kids are getting older because we're getting too old to chase after them."

    "Okay..."

    "He flipped out on Harrison. He's just sick about Vietnam still...."

    "Jackie, spit it out."

    "I'm pregnant and I have a husband that has some form of PTSD and a house that has a bunch of hormonal adolescents, other than Patrick."

    "Well damn, I didn't realize it was that bad at your house."

     "It is Bobby... I don't know what to do with Jack, especially now," she said placing her hand on her stomach.

      "Well how far along are you?"

       "Four months almost five."

       "Holy shit, Jackie. When were you planning on telling everyone?"

        "I thought it would get better with Jack and then it'd be easier, but I guess not."

       Bobby shook his head and grabbed Jackie's hand, "By God, to think that we almost got married. If we had, Jack would've never been president probably...It's just crazy to think about all that would be different."

      Jackie smiled weakly at Bobby, "I gotta tell him soon."

     "Just hold off. Maybe it'll get better as the new year begins. There'll be a whole years worth of shit for them to yank Nixon's chain on soon. It'll blow over."

     

      She left Bobby's and returned to her house to find Harrison in the kitchen reading the paper. "Well, I got my current event, but realized it won't be so current after break."

      Jackie sat down across from him at the kitchen table and sighed putting her head in her hands.

        "Mom, what's going on with you?"

        "I'm fine."

        "You're not."

         "Harrison, I'm about to trust you with a huge secret that you can't even tell your father... Not that I'm condoning keeping secrets from him, but-"

       "Mom!" he cut her off, "Just tell me."

      "Harrison, I'm having another baby."