Our Life|| Dan Howell X Reader

Him, Who Shall Not Be Named

Once again, trigger warning, I'll tell ya when:)
~~~

"His name was Brian." Just his name could make you shiver with fear.

"We met in high school and after I graduated, I moved in with him. I was in college by then and wasn't getting anywhere. My grades sucked, but my Youtube career was finally taking off. He told me to quit Youtube and stay in school. So, I stayed in school. But I didn't quit youtube either.

But one day, it seemed like out of nowhere, he changed. He was mad at me 24/7. Then started the yelling and screaming. Then the pushing and the shoving...

I thought It was my fault we were turning into a mess. At least, that's how he made me feel. He told me everyday how much of a burden I was. How much he hated me. How stupid I was.

But, at the end of the day, he always seemed to make it up to me. And I looked right through the act. Deep down, I knew what was going on, I just didn't want to admit to myself.

... But then my mom died. And I wasn't myself. He only seemed to hate me more and wasn't 'making up' for it anymore.

Then came the hitting... and the punching... until one day," You bit your lip to keep your sobs in as tears poured down your cheeks like rain.

"That one day I told him I was leaving him. That I was done. That I was sad and he wasn't making me happy...

And he beat me,

And beat me.

And beat me...

Until I finally reached my phone and called the police." You squeezed your eyes shut. You hated telling this story. This nightmare. You hated reliving it in your mind over and over again...

Dan held you as tight as he could without hurting you, rocking back and forth, forehead leaning against your forehead. And he cried.

And that made you cry.

But you had to tell what happened.

"That was the two years I took a break off of Youtube. I quit college, I took on a full career as a Youtuber and moved to London... I found you. And I was happy." You smooth his hair out his face. He was sweaty and shaky, just like you were.

"In surgery, after my accident... That was the first time I had a flashback. About him."

"And then you had them every night." Dan says, brushing his hands through your hair, voice shaking. "And you were scared, Y/N."

Tears stream out of his eyes, which makes you break out into a heap of sobs. Dan cradles you in his arms whispering comforting words in your ear.

"It's okay.
You're okay.
I'm here.
I'm so sorry.
I love you.
I love you so much."

After a long time, what seemed like hours of comfortable silence, the occasional sob once in awhile, you peered up into Dan's shining brown eyes that reflected off the dark room.

"Dan," You place your hands on his chest, forehead to forehead, gazing up at him. "You're the reason why I learned to love again."

You crack a smile, still dripping in tears. "You're the reason I'm living. I would die for you, Dan. But what's harder is, I would live for you. You're the only reason why I'm alive. I'm living for you. Because I told you I wouldn't leave you... I love you, Dan."

He cries harder. "Y/N, your the only person I've loved in a long time."(besides Phil, duh)

~TRIGGERING: