And that worries me.

Natatakot ako na baka magbago ang desisyon nya na bumalik sa akin. Natatakot ako na baka mas piliin nya si J-hope kesa sa akin.

Pero agad ko paring ipinilig ang ulo ko.

Nah.

What was I thinking?

I trust her.

I love her.

And all I need to do right now is to hope that she will really come back to me and then everything's going to be alright.

"Umalis ka na" Jana woke me up from my thoughts using that unfriendly manner. "Umalis ka na bago pa man magising ang kapatid ko"

Nagtaas naman ako ng mukha at napatitig sa mukha nya na may bahid ng pinaghalong galit at pag-aalala.

"Umalis ka na bago pa man sya umiyak ulit nang dahil sayo" she said with that distaste tone. "Ako na ang bahalang mag-uuwi sa kanya sa Seoul"

I can't blame her.

I can't blame her that she's acting like this towards me.

Kung sa ibang paraan lang siguro kami nagkita uli ay baka masaya pa kaming nagkukumustahan ngayon mula sa limang taon na hindi kami nagkita.

But this situation is just so fucked up.

Sinaktan ko lang naman ang kapatid nya. And I can't blame her that she won't forgive me so easily for the sake of the fact that we were once friends.

At kailangan kong irespeto ang kung ano man ang gusto nyang gawin ko ngayon.

Ako naman talaga ang may kasalanan ng lahat ng ito kaya wala akong karapatan na mag-protesta sa lahat ng sasabihin nya.

Nagawi nalang ang paningin ko sa mahimbing parin na natutulog na si Sujin. Nag-aalala parin ako sa kanya pero sa tingin ko ay kailangan ko muna syang iwan sa kapatid nya na halatang sobrang galit sa akin sa mga oras na ito.

And so I stood up and sigh.

"Please tell her to call me when she wakes up" I said.

But her eyes that is full of rage just looked up to me.

"Bastard" she hissed.

Yes, I sounded like a total bastard just now.

After hurting her so badly like this, I'd still have the guts to tell her to call me.

And I guess all I could say at this moment is...

"I'm sorry" I whispered.

Yes, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for being a bastard.

I'm sorry for hurting her.

I'm sorry that after all the painful things that I've done to her, I'll still choose to go and be with that girl again.

At tanggap ko na sa sarili ko na gago ako.

I'm a complete bastard for this doing this to her beloved younger sister. And I know in myself that there is nothing else that I can do about it right now but to sincerely apologize.

And so with a last glance into Sujin's peaceful sleeping face, I turned around and started to walk away.





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