Our secret love- Joshifer

Chapter four: He's not mine

-Jennifer-
-morning-
I wake up again to the smell of cooking and the radio on but two people talking. Eh? I thought only Katie was here last night did we have to much wine and have a party? I sigh and rub my eyes from the sleepiness. I get up from the bed and go into the bathroom and wash my face clean. I ruffle my hair in a better style and I walk into the living area and stop in my tracks. Josh is stood in the flat with Katie helping her cook, I don't show my emotions but I am a tiny bit jealous because I have to admit this but i fancy Josh. I mean who couldn't? I didn't know I felt like this about my best friend so much before, I know I shouldn't be feeling like this nut I can't help it, he's just so eugh! Perfect, the way he is around me.

I sit down on the sofa , cuddling a cushion, okay okay Jennifer you've gotta stop yourself from crying. Why am I even wanting to cry? I mean Nick broke up with me ages ago, I mean a couple of days ago. I hug my pillow tighter and tighter , because the pain is hurting me to much. But I don't notice I'm crying until, I see a drop land on my pillow, I don't let go of the cushion , I just grip tighter and try to sob silently but being me, I can't, I shake when I cry. Luckily Josh or Katie haven't noticed yet that's good.

I shouldn't of thought that because suddenly Josh is beside me , he is pushing me into his chest and I begin to sob , more louder now , shaking faster and not caring what is happening. I just want it to be okay, I loved that man so much, he didn't even tell me, I mean if he had told me earlier then I wouldn't had caused me so much pain. Josh puts his arms around my shaking body and rests his chin and my head and he try's to calm me down.
I'm gonna faint in a minute I shouldn't cry because that's what happens, I don't know what I'm going to be do on set when I have to cry.
He doesn't say anything he just holds me while I cry.
Like Nick did when gran died, he didn't do anything he just held me. That's made me cry even harder, all the memories of me&nick just float back into my brain, I'm gonna make myself I'll if I don't stop this, but I can't , it's part of moving on.
I feel safe in Josh's arms , just like in Nick's, I just want him to burst through the door and hug me and tell he's here for me, and he won't leave me again.
He left me for another woman! And a baby for god sake, that makes me feel so special!. Not.

-Josh's pov-
Just then she collapsed in my arms, I held her up and I checked her pulse nothing.

"Jennifer! Wake up I need you, it's going to be okay I'm here"

My tears drop on her perfect face, she can't be gone, she always faints when she cries but she has never told me that some times she ends up stopping breathing. I try to stop crying, Katie chucks me a blanket and I wrap it round Jennifer and I run out of the flat crying.

We reach the hospital and Jennifer is taken off to the other side of the hospital leaving me there crying. Claudia is with me, hugging me, comforting me. I hope Jennifer will be okay.
I can't live without her, ever since I met her my life has changed. And the way she kisses just takes my breath away. I blame Nick for this! If I could kill then I would!
Just then nurse calls me through , I gulp at what the nurse is telling me.

"Jennifer is going to be okay, she just had a shock but you can go in and see her she was asking for you"

Jennifer was asking for me. I smile and walk in the her room, she has one of those oxygen masks over her mouth. She takes it off as soon as she sees me, I sit down next to her.

"Hello Josh I'm so sorry"

I hug her tight , she puts the mask back on , she takes my hand and she just starts telling me jokes, I watch as slowly Jennifer is actually getting happy. I smile at her, the nurse comes in and tells me that Claudia wants to see Jennifer. I give Jennifer a puzzled look, I kiss the top of her head and leave the room, walking past Claudia.

-Jennifer's pov-
I keep my oxygen mask on the whole time Claudia is in my room. I don't say anything I just listen because I didn't want to get on the wrong side of her seeing as she is Josh's girlfriend.
She stand near the edge of the doorway smiling her evil smile, I turn away from her so I can't see her. My eyes are prickling.

"Stay away from my boyfriend"

As soon as she is gone, I just burst out crying, I bite my lip to try and stop myself. I now know for good that I can't see Josh because Claudia knows.
I just want to die right now.
The nurse comes in and listens to me complain, she hands me a cushion and hugs me. I just need a load of hugs and people around me at the moment. Everyone is worried about me.
I'm allowed to go home in a couple of hours finally,thank god I hate hospitals so much.

The hours slowly pass as I sleep or either just listen to my music. But at long last the doctor finally discharges me and I'm allowed to go home. I order a taxi to pick me up and I'm home in no time.
As soon as I get in, I put my blanket down and I tidy up the kitchen, and I just get undressed and put my pjs on and I just slip into bed.
I check to see if I have any messages on my phone. I have one from Josh, I don't smile, I just gloomily click on it.

Josh: hope you got in safe? Might check on you in the morning and I'll try not to burn your food;).

I sigh at his message I have to tell him we can't date anymore or even kiss only in the film.

Jennifer: Josh , look Claudia came to see me today, she told me to stay away from you so that's what I'm going to be doing, if we are together then we will only be friends love Jennifer cxxx

Oh my so stupid I put love Jennifer what Claudia will probably see it and she'll want to kill me.
I ignore my phone going off and just lie in darkness , just thinking about everything.

-morning-
At soon point I fell asleep, I wake up and it's eleven I have to be at the set in an hour. I get out of bed and jump in the shower.

After I've been in the shower, I tidy my hair and face up. I look outside, it's gonna be quite hot today so I'm gonna wear something cooling. I go into my wardrobe and pick out my outfit I'm wearing some dark purple shorts, a black and white diagonal stripy top, black high heeled boots, a cream cardy In case it gets cold , a spiky necklace, a black small belt and a dark reddish burgundy hat.
By the time I've eaten it's nearly 12 , I check I've got everything and I lock the flat and walk down to my car.
I see Katie stood near my small red mini with the American flag on the top. As I walk closer to her , she sees me and runs towards me and flings her arms around me hugging me and laughing. Well that is the first Katie never hugs me is she in a good mood. I laugh and we part she walks round the drivers seat and takes the keys off me. So I have no choice but to sit in the passenger seat. She starts the engine and looks at me and smiles, her makeup is perfect and so is her outfit, she is wearing some dark deinum , washed out shorts, some cute panda flats, a cream floral top with a couple of pink roses scattered around it.
She reverses out of the parking lot and madly swerves from a stray dog thats walking aimlesy in the road.

''You Fucking Animal stay off the road''

She screams at the dog and I just burst out laughing, this is my best friend who has never swore in her whole entire life she used to disapprove of me swearing and used to tut and say she was going to wash my mouth out with soap. But something or someone must of changed her, shes more laid back and doesn't care as much , it makes me happier and her. She's noticed too.

She pulls up at the set , Josh is stood outside, I freeze and look at Katie who parks as far away from Josh and she turns to me and gives me a s-o-w-h-a-t-s-u-p kinda look and I try to look away but i end up looking at Josh, bad idea , Katie stops us from staring at each other. I bite my lip and turn away from Josh's long gaze and I smile but stop and look at Katie.

''mm yes?'' 

She raises her eyesbrow and take my hands into her, she looks at me worridley , looks out the window in Josh's direction then turns back at me, she tilts her head down so she is looking at our hands she sighs and looks at me.

''I know there was something going on between you&Josh but ever since you came back from that hospital you haven't seen Josh or even texted him, I know he makes you happy but Jennifer what is going on?''

I sigh and squeeze her hands tighter , looking down at our hands and back up at her and I try not to cry but I wipe away the tears.

''Claudia told me to stay away from him, but my feelings are growing him so I don't know what to do, I'll have to try and move on''

She kisses my cheek , lets go of my hands and just looks at me for about a couple of mintres.

''Come on lets go and make that film but girl ring if you need me, and you need to pretend you don't have a heart so that you won't grow anymore feelings''

I get out the car and walk towards Josh, smiling, I hear fast footsteps behind me , I turn round and Katie flings her arms round me, knocking me into Josh and she tightens , I know her eyes are closed. She lets go and places her hands on my shoulder and kisses my cheek.

''Have fun, don't care and kiss that boy but as an actor not as you''

She winks and walks backwards before turning round and walking back to the car, I laugh a little at my best friend who is crazy but she is absolutly amazing and i wouldn't change her for the world.

I turn to Josh who is amused by the way Katie is acting. I tut and walk past him and I know he is watching me and he runs up and catches up with me, and links arms with me, I can't grow feelings for him , he's Claudia's not mine.