That Stupid List (A Seventeen Fanfic)

Chapter 67: Coming Clean

"I know what you're thinking," was the first thing that Seokmin said to Jin as soon as she caught him without Sena, who was changing into her swimming clothes in the bathroom.

"Would you mind explaining what you're doing to her?" Jin asked him.

"I know it looks terrible that I'm leading her on, but I couldn't stop myself," he said with a sad look in his eyes. "If I cut her off, she'll think it's because of her. She'll think it's because she became a dirty person after that asshole hurt her. She'll think I stopped liking her because of it, and I really don't want her to think that."

Jin had not really considered that side of things very much, but Seokmin was right. Sena could possibly attribute Seokmin's sudden loss of interest in her to the fact she was violated, to the fact her worth somehow decreased because of it.

"We'll tell her the truth," Jin said, "and she'll realize that's not true."

"You want me to tell her that I have feelings for you?" Seokmin asked uncertainly.

"I don't want to hide anything from her anymore."

Seokmin looked downcast at the prospect of saying something like that to Sena in such a vulnerable state, but he did not seem to disagree. "I wish things were different," he said, looking at the floor.

Jin nodded in agreement.

"Will she be okay?"

Jin shrugged.

"At this rate, I don't think we'll ever go back to the way things were before," Seokmin said with a sigh.

Jin also could not imagine how things would ever be mended between all of them now. She could not imagine how Sena would ever forgive her. How could Sena forgive a best friend who kissed the boy that she liked in a time when Sena was going through the most difficult phase of her life? A boy that she was only avoiding because she was raped? The more Jin thought about it, the more terrible she felt about what she had done.

-

They told her immediately after.

She reacted with surprise, and, just like Jin expected, Sena looked hurt. At first, Sena could not even look up from the floor, and an uncomfortable silence followed where all they could hear was Sena's heavy breathing.

Sena lifted her head to face everyone's concerned faces a few seconds later. And much to Jin's surprise, Sena smiled. It was a forced, painful smile, a smile that felt like a dagger into Jin's heart.

"Thank you for telling me," she said, looking from Seokmin to Jin. "But, I would like to have a bit of time to myself, if you don't mind." Sena did not wait for an answer from them; she just grabbed her bag and left without looking back.

-

Wonwoo looked for her an hour later and found her lying down on the shore, texting someone on her phone. There were tears in her eyes, but a smile on her face as she typed. Wonwoo took a seat silently beside her. She glanced him and then back at her screen.

"Who are you texting?" Wonwoo asked, not knowing what else to say to her.

"Mingyu is telling me that they took in the guy who hurt me for questioning, and he is still not out. That's a good sign."

"Oh... that's perfect."

"Perfect timing too. I have something to be happy about to offset all of the sadness."

"Are you angry with them?"

"With Jin and Seokmin? Never. I love them both with all of my heart. I'm angry at myself for not seeing it earlier."