That Stupid List (A Seventeen Fanfic)

Chapter 55: Violations

TRIGGER WARNING: Allusions to sexual violence in this chapter.

Jin only went back to her room after she wrote her diary entry about the date. She had decided to write it in the lobby, before going back into her room and talking to Sena about it. She hadn't wanted the entry to be affected by what Sena was going to say. Jin was certaint that Sena was not going to be happy about the date, given that she appeared to hate Vernon.

When Jin entered their room, Sena was there, sitting at her desk and doing some work. Sena froze when she glanced at Jin. Sena looked tense all of the sudden as she looked towards her. Sena was not really staring at Jin though; Jin followed Sena's eyes and noted that they were fixated on the dress.

"I'm sorry I took it without asking," Jin told Sena, thinking maybe that was what was eliciting such a reaction from her.

Sena averted her eyes, and looked at the floor, "were you with Vernon?" she asked. There was an unfamiliar heaviness in Sena's voice; something was seriously wrong with her.

"Yes. I just had my first date ever," Jin told Sena, "and I liked it."

"It looks very pretty on you," Sena told Jin, but her eyes were on the floor.

"Thanks," Jin told her. The conversation was getting quite awkward. There was this uncomfortable tension that was lingering between the two of them.

Jin could also tell that Sena was holding something back.

"I want to tell you something," Sena told Jin hesitantly, still looking at the floor, "but before I do, please take it off."

"The dress?"

"Yeah."

Jin didn't understand why Sena seemed so eager the dress to be taken off. Was she angry about it? Jin felt guilty; she was in the wrong for taking the dress without permission.

When Jin changed into her pajamas, she handed the dress back to Sena, apologizing again for taking it without asking. Sena's hands almost trembled when she took the dress. She put it to the side and shook her head, "don't apologize. I'm not angry."

"Then what's wrong?" Jin asked. There was definitely something wrong with Sena at the moment. Something about her was just so off. She looked shaken, traumatized almost.

"Remember when I told you about the guy that..." Sena swallowed, but Jin immediately understood that Sena was referring to the one that violated her.

"I remember..."

"I was wearing that dress the first time it happened," Sena revealed quickly, "and so seeing it on you just made me imagine things... I'm sorry for acting weird about it." Sena closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

The fact that Jin had worn the dress in which Sena was violated was shocking in and of itself, but there was something else that Sena had said that was even more so: the first time it happened.

"Sena... did it happen a second time?" Jin asked, the words of that question dropping out of her mouth slowly and painfully as she considered that implication.

Sena nodded.

Jin froze.

"I want to tell you something else, but you have to promise to God that you won't tell anyone at all. Not Seokmin or Wonwoo, and most definitely not Vernon. No one at all, understand?"

Jin nodded, not knowing what to expect, and still shocked.

"Swear to God?"

"I swear," Jin said, unable to hide the anxiety in her voice.