That Stupid List (A Seventeen Fanfic)

Chapter 52: Never in Peace

Jin woke up to the sound of running water. She gathered that Sena was also up and washing her face. Jin rubbed her eyes tiredly and sat upright, realizing that the time has finally come for the two of them to talk.

Jin was nervous about it all of the sudden. She wasn't great with sentimental make-up sessions, and she didn't really know what to say to her. Jin wanted forgive her, but she didn't know how to go about doing that so that it sounded sincere, so that they actually go back to the way they were before. She didn't want this to be something they did out of obligation that wouldn't actually change anything between them. She didn't want it to sound fake. She genuinely missed her best friend.

Jin was not angry with her anymore. Jealous, yes, but angry, not really. She was long over the fact Sena had read her diary. More surprisingly, the fact she was (had been) dating Seokmin did not bother her nearly as much as it had. On the contrary, Jin wished that they would get back together. Jin wondered if that meant she was getting over him. She knew that the feelings she had for him had not faded much, but they were fading, which was an improvement.

Sena stepped out of the bathroom with a towel drying her face, when she removed the towel and saw that Jin was awake, she froze.

"Good morning," Jin said to Sena with a slight bow.

"Good morning," Sena replied. She put the towel to the side and took a seat on her own bed. She seemed just as ambivalent as Jin was.

There was an awkward silence between them for a while, and Jin really didn't know what to say to break it.

It was Sena that eventually broke it asking: "Wonwoo said that you told him that you wanted to talk to me. It's true, right?"

Jin nodded, "I have wanted to talk to you for a long time, but you're never around.."

"Can I say something to you?"

Jin nodded.

"I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry for dating him. I'm sorry for not telling you about it. And I'm sorry for reading your diary. I know it doesn't sound sincere when I list it all out like this, but I am so sincere sorry. I love you so much, and knowing that I caused you so much pain it eating me up, habibti. I'm so sorry, and I'm going to be selfish and ask for your forgiveness even though I know I don't deserve it." She had eventually started crying as she said it. At the end of it, Sena covered her face.

Jin could tell that it was sincere, and that it really was driving Sena mad with guilt. Sena rarely cried, but it seemed like nowadays, she was crying way too much. Jin could tell with the lifelessness now present in her once bright eyes.

Jin stood up, took a seat besides her friend and wrapped her arms around Sena. Sena immediately reacted and also wrapped her arms around Jin too, squeezing her tight.

"I'm sorry for ignoring you for so lon..." Jin began to say.

"Don't you dare apologize to me," Sena stopped her, "I deserved everything that I got, and more. I don't deserve you."

"I forgive you for everything," Jin continued, "I want us to go back to the way were before. When we were in Jordan..."

"I miss Jordan so much," Sena said, and suddenly broke down crying harder than before.

Jin patted Sena's back and also began to cry. She also missed Jordan, but clearly Sena had missed it so much more.

Sena pulled away from the hug to grab some tissues and blow her nose, and wipe her face.

"I'm sorry I made you sad," Jin said, feeling guilty for mentioning Jordan to her and causing her to burst.

"Sad? This is the happiest I've been all week," Sena said smiling through her tears.