That Stupid List (A Seventeen Fanfic)

Chapter 43: Posters

Wonwoo was so caught up with thinking about what had happened between him and Jin, that he had forgotten that he had an interview with the modeling company the following morning. He was only reminded when he got the very first text he would receive from Mingyu saying: good luck tomorrow! Call me after and tell me how it was!

Wonwoo felt so happy when he received the message. It made him smile like and idiot, and it made the butterflies in his stomach flutter.

The smile was quickly replaced with a groan when he realized what this meant: he liked Mingyu; he liked Mingyu a lot. He also liked Jin a lot. But not in the same way. But he still liked them both. He kissed Jin, and he would certainly kiss Mingyu.

Why is this so hard, Wonwoo thought as he tried to imagine his feelings for the two of them. He tried to ask himself which hepreferred, but that wasn't the right question; he preferred hanging out with Jin because she was closer to him, but there are somethings he knew he would certainly prefer doing with Mingyu if he ever had the chance.

He felt like he was confusing so many different types of feelings: friendship, fondness, attraction, romantic attraction, sexual attraction. Those were all different, and he felt them for either Jin or Mingyu at different levels. But all of those were important aspects in a romantic partner, Wonwoo thought. Is it more important to be attracted to the person you're dating, or to be comfortable with him/her? If it's the former, then Wonwoo preferred Mingyu. If it's the latter, then Jin all the way.

Sure the attraction to Jin wasn't as well-formed, but Wonwoo felt like that's something that would come about after the relationship becomes. But he thought that there was something of the thing called attraction there; he did kiss her after all.

It was hard to try to sort out his feelings. His mind eventually went back to his parents. How happy they would be to hear that he was questioning his homosexuality. How happy would his mother be to learn that he started going out with a good Christian girl? How proud would his father be?

The thought of pleasing them in that way encouraged him, though he felt guilty about that. He didn't want his own self-interested motive of pleasing his parents to go into the decision he would make; that would be using Jin, and that was the last thing he wanted to do.

They thought of hurting her made him feel so nervous about this. He didn't want to hurt her or even open up the possibility of hurting her; he wanted to be sure of his decision. He wanted to be sure that there was notable attraction that has the potential to be something more than just fondness and warmth for her. If he started dating her and then realized he didn't want to, that would be really crappy on his part.

He was happy that Jin didn't immediately say yes when he asked her to be his girlfriend. He realized that he probably should not have asked it. But for now, he just needed to think and get himself figured out.

-

He had to miss class for the interview, which Wonwoo thought was worth it if it meant financial stability for two months.

He tried to plan his trip to the building. He needed to know the bus route, and so he put in the address into the app and waited as it calculated the bus route for him. There were four different options that seemed like they would work, and he didn't know which was the best one.

He texted Mingyu to ask which to take.

The second one, Mingyu responded almost immediately after. The first one is usually really crowded and is filled with smelly old people:P

Wonwoo smiled when he read that. He was happy that they were on joking terms now. Before, it had just been this awkward mess between them.

He took the route that Mingyu advised, and fortunately it was not crowded, and he arrived at the building very easily. He checked into the front desk and was then directed to a waiting room. He waited for a few minutes before a group of employees greeted him warmly.