Rebel Family (one-shots)

Panic Attack

Kanan's P.O.V

I was cutting some fruit when Ezra decided to startle me. The knife cut my finger and I held it saying, "OW!". "Sorry for scaring you," Ezra said sheepishly scratching his head, "I just want-". He stopped talking when I reviled my cut which was bleeding. I looked up at Ezra who had fear in his eyes. He started to hyperventilate and violently shake. I grabbed a bandage out of a med aid kit and put it on my finger. Then turned my attention back to Ezra.

He now seemed dazed and then fainted. "Hera, get the Med Bay prep!" I shouted to Hera through the comm. "What?! Why?! Who is it?!" She asked worried. I picked Ezra up and said through the comm, "It's Ezra! I think he had a panic attack". "Alright, meet me in the Med Bay, stat!" She said and I ran to the Med Bay carrying my padawan in my arms bridal style.

   The door slid open and I entered the room then put Ezra on the bed. Hera was already in here when we arrived and shooed me out of the Med Bay to see what was wrong with Ezra. While waiting, I paced back a forth next to the door and tried my best to think of reasons why Ezra would have a panic attack. Nothing came to mind and I was starting to lose my patience. I wanted to know if Ezra was ok or not.

A couple minutes later, Hera steps out smiling, "He will be fine, but I would talk to him about whatever happened". I nodded my head and thanked Hera. She walked back to the cockpit and I went inside the Med Bay.

I saw Ezra sitting on the bed with his legs dangling from the side. He perked up and when he saw my, frowned looking down at his lap. I walked over to him and sat next to him. "So, you going to tell me what happened back there or are we going to stay here the whole day until I win in the end?" I said. He let out an irritated huff and crossed his arms defensively.

"Please tell me Ezra," I begged, "I just want to help". His breathing was coming uneven and muscles were tense. He's having another panic attack! Then the quiet med bay was being filled with blood curling screams. Ezra was shaking badly and yelling random things like, 'there gone' or 'It's my fault'. He fell off the bed and laid on the floor with his eyes shut tight, crying and yelling. I got on my knees, not sure on what to do. As his master, I had to help him physically and mentally. But the Jedi code said that I couldn't make any kind of attachment.

I sat uselessly and called Hera through the comm. "Hera, med bay, now!" I ordered. "I'm coming," she said and no longer later Hera appears at the door. She came running over and saw Ezra on the floor panicking. She ran over and scooped the child in her arms. "What happened?" She asked and shouted holding Ezra. "I was just asking him what was wrong and then he went into another panic attack," I shouted over Ezra's screaming.

"Why weren't you helping him?" She asked. "The can't, the Jedi code says no attachments," I said and Hera got angry. "So you were just going to leave him like this?!" She yelled at me. "What else am I supposed to do? The code says-". "Kanan, I get that the code says that you and your padawan can't make attachments but the the order is dead and so is the code," she said, "Besides, even if you still follow the code, don't you need to make sure he is physically and mentally stable?".

I was lost for words and I knew that she was right. I looked at Ezra, he had tears still pouring down his innocent face, screaming, shaking, uneven breathing, and he was...................scared. I took Ezra out of Hera's hold and carried him out of the Med Bay to my room. Sabine, Zeb and Chopper saw what was going on and were really worried. I made it to my room and laid Ezra on the bed. I laid down with him and embraced him, softly saying, "Shhh........shhhh.......Ezra, calm down".

I sent some calming waves through the force so he knows that I'm here. A minute later, Ezra stops screaming and opens his eyes. "K-Kanan," he said evening out his breathing. "Yeah kid, I'm here," I said rubbing circles around his back. "I-I'm s-sorry," he apologized and I could tell that he felt embarrassed. "It's alright," I said and just laid with him.

The room was silent but was comforting for the both of us just being in each other's presence. "Kanan?" Ezra spoke. "Yes?" I said and put my full attention on what he said next. " The reason I had that panic attack is because.......of.....the.........blood," he said. I was confused and hoped that he would explain on why some blood could send him into that kind of shock. Luckily, he did, "You know how I told you guys that my parents were taken by the Empire?" He said. "Yes," I said and could see where this was going. "Well, they weren't exactly taken," he said and I could feel him shake in my arms, "They were......slaughtered". I was kind of shocked at this new information. Ezra continued, "The E-Empire came on m-my seventh birthday day a-and broke into our house. I hide under the c-couch but I still could see what w-was happening. M-my parents took o-out the troopers, but then.......". Ezra trailed off and I could tell that he was going to have yet another panic attack.

"Deep breath in and out," I told him and obeyed, calming down before continuing. "Then, an imperial assassin came in and did a bunch of........disturbing things. When he was done, the sight of my parents was horrific". I hugged Ezra tightly as he muttered, "So much blood, so much blood". My heart ached at the energetic and fun kid in my arms is now the young and scared child. Now, I knew why he was having panic attacks. Blood reminded him of his parent's terrible slaughter. It even sent a chill down my spine at an imagined image of it. Wait, didn't he say that he was only seven at the time?!

I let out a sigh and heard soft snoring. Ezra fell asleep and He needed it, probably exhausted himself out. "Don't worry Ezra, as long as I'm still alive..." I paused before saying the next few words, "I will help you through theses panic attacks". I looked down and saw a smile on the boy's face. I smiled to and decided to sleep with my padawan.

No.

My son.

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