One Shots #VariaSquad

I hate that I love you

She sees rumours as well. For as long as she can, she ignores them, tells herself that he's too busy with his career for a serious relationship and, even if he is seeing someone, it's not any of her business. It doesn't work. The more she tries to ignore the rumours, the more they catch her attention. Eventually, she stops lying to herself and admits that it's probably true. She tries to be happy for him but it hurts like hell and it shouldn't because it's not like they were ever together. She can't even say that he's moved on, after all, there was nothing to move on from. All the time, they insisted on saying they were just friends even though it was a lie, at least for her it was. She was in love with her best friend, had been since she was filming Highway and talking to him was one of the only things that made her remember that a world existed outside of Veera's story. Varun was one of the few people that knew the real her, the one who could be moody and down right depressing at times, and she could be completely herself around him. The great thing about their relationship was that they weren't afraid of giving each other what for, they got into arguments and they could ignore each other for weeks if they fought and that fact had just made Alia fall for him even more. It might seem strange but she loved the fact that he didn't treat her like a child, he treated her like an equal. Even after Highway, when everyone insisted on treating her like she would fall apart if they said the wrong thing, Varun argued with her the same as he always had, didn't hold back, didn't act like she was a fragile little doll and that was why she was able to move on from that character, because they didn't change.

But, in a way, they did.

They had become closer than before. It wasn't like they hadn't been comfortable with each other before, but now the boundaries had shifted. They had never shied away from physical contact with each other but it had transitioned from occasional friendly touches to frequent intimate gestures. To the world, they seemed like a couple but they managed to fool themselves into thinking otherwise by drawing a line they dared not cross. There was one action that was completely, totally forbidden and that action was, of course, a kiss. Sure, it was fine for him to press a kiss to her forehead but for them to actually kiss was not allowed. It was a childish thought but they clung to it, ignoring the fact that the way they were so freely affectionate with each other was far more intimate than a kiss would be.

For a while, things stayed that way between them. Both of them were in love but neither would admit it and so they stayed friends, best friends. They both loved the way they were with each other, loved that they had someone who completely understood them and neither would give up their friendship for anything. But, as they say, all good things come to an end.

They fell apart at some point. Neither can tell when or why but at some point, things changed between them. The feelings hadn't changed but maybe it was the fact that hiding from each other was starting to put a strain on their relationship.

The change isn't sudden but when they notice it, it feels abrupt. By the time they realise they've drifted apart, they feel it's too late for them to put the pieces back together so they don't even try. Instead, they let things get worse, ignore and avoid each other at all costs and allow themselves to fall apart even more.

The problems start when they have to stop avoiding each other. There's nobody to blame but themselves and they know it, both of them scold themselves for signing the film but there's nothing to be done now.

They know they have to spend time around each other now and both look at it in different ways. Varun, always the one to try and find the silver lining, thinks that this might help them reconnect, even just a tiny bit, and get some kind of friendship back. Alia, on the other hand, thinks she really should have thought more carefully about signing this movie because she's so scared of what happens when they get close again and what happens when they fall apart again because, to her, it is an inevitable fact that they will fall apart again.