Roommates |l.h|

35.

Ever heard the preference how fast the night changes. How it can go from the best night of your life to the worst night ever.
The thought running through my head as I sat along on the bathroom floor. The memories flashing like if they were saved up in there as an edit. Once one memory faded, the other came up. My eyes burning and throat aching and the tightness in my chest making me feel suffocated. But I didn't do anything about it. After every memory, a loud sob would be released.
I had hope. I sat in the hospital for hours. I was with your family as they comforted me and each other. It's funny to say they were acting way more sane than I was. Praying and hoping that you'd wake up and be alright or that this was all a sick sick prank but we'd laugh about it later. But no. They told me to go home and they'd give me a call.
The words spoken through the phone were haunting me. They were running through my head over and over and it's killing me. I feel like I'm going insane to be honest. Why. Why the fuck did this happen!
You said you were in love with me. Just last night you said you wanted to spend your whole life with me. We're still young, but I felt the same. It doesn't have to be true for it to feel like it.
We've been together for 2 damn years.
We literally went through so much shit together and we also made so much.
I hate whoever did this to you, you didn't deserve this. You were a great great person, you've made mistakes but because you're an actual human being. You learned and changed so much from the first time I met you to your last days. I hate that you're gone. I hate it I hate I hate it. I broke so many things in the kitchen. I was in the middle of cooking something so when you'd come home, we'd eat together then have a great night, because every night with you is honestly the best, even the worst nights. It was your night to come late from work. I'm numb. It's like I'm drowning but I'm not underwater. Cliché I know. But it's true. I'm grateful for everything you done for me, with me and to me. I love you so much and I always will. This didn't have to happen to you. Out of everyone, why you? 
Watch over me babe. I'll be okay, I hope.  I love you to the centers of heaven and back.  You will always be more than just a roommate to me.
Goodbye Luke. I love you.