Striking Out - Camren

Chapter 27

The car ride to their destination was abnormally quiet. The only sound that could be heard was the gravel under the tires.

Lauren was deep in thought, mentally preparing to reopen old wounds. If anyone deserves to know everything about her, it was Camila.

Camila on the other hand was contemplating what to do. Her hand found the one piece of jewellery she managed to put on tonight. It must've been habit because there was no way she would've put on the chain around her neck if she was thinking clearly.

She remembered a time when she wouldn't take it off. Her earlier thoughts of Alex must have distracted her. That's when Camila decided that if Lauren was going to be honest, then so was she.

They pulled into the only place that was on Lauren's mind.

"Here?" Camila asked pleasantly surprised. Lauren bit her lip. This was always a special spot for her, even more so since she brought Camila here on their first 'date.'

The cliff overlooking Los Angeles was empty so the two made their way out. Sitting on the lush grass, Lauren let out a heavy sigh.

"Babe, you don't have to tell me. I love you anyway, you know that, right?" Camila asked after sensing the girl's hesitancy.

"No, you should know." Lauren said, grabbing her hand and squeezing it tight. Shaky breath exhaled, she started the tale she had been holding onto for the past few years.

"Nick and I met a few weeks after I had turned 16.. We got along really well and starting talking, you know how it goes. Ended up confessing our feelings for each other. Well, I was being honest about mine and he...He wasn't." Lauren said. Camila noticed a tear peaking out of the corner of her eyes and she lovingly wiped it away.

"We spoke everyday for just over three months and I liked him so, so much. I almost thought of it as love. Almost. We uh, met up one night and decided to hang out and have a few drinks. I-uh- I had a lot more to drink than he did." Lauren stuttered and Camila closed her eyes, having an idea of where this was going.

"I was drunk, and I really liked him, he was so good looking. We ended up kissing and uh, yeah. I woke up the next morning.. He was asleep next to me and I just felt so dirty. He was so uncaring about me and asked me to leave and I had never cried so much before until after that. I mean, I gave him my virginity and he just...Took it." Lauren was crying softly and Camila's heart broke at the thought of a 16 year old Lauren having to go through that.

"I-uh-he didn't use a condom even though he told me he did. I later found out that he didn't." Lauren whispered and Camila's head snapped to her girlfriend, wide eyed.

Lauren shook her head. "I was so scared and angry and I just, I couldn't tell my parents. So... I went to the one person I could trust. I went to Normani and told her what happened. She warned me to stay away from him before, but I didn't. Anyway, she ended up helping me and we got the morning after pill to y'know, prevent a possible pregnancy." Lauren revealed.

"After that, every guy I tried to start a relationship with just reminded me of Nick and I just, I just didn't want to get hurt anymore." Lauren said seriously.

"I guess that's when 'fuckgirl' Lauren was born. Nobody would take advantage of me like that again, so I ended up doing it to others instead." Lauren said looking down at the ground in shame. She hated herself and that part of her life.

Camila used her hands to cup Lauren's face and stare into her red eyes.

"Baby..." Camila cooed. She then placed a soft kiss on Lauren's lips. It was so soft and loving that Lauren almost started crying again.

"Fuck Nick. That was wrong of him to take advantage of a drunk you like that. But, I need you to know something too." Camila said and Lauren nodded curiously.

"I love you. I- I love you so much and would never do that to you." Camila said, hugging the girl and enjoying the warmth and vanilla scent of her girlfriend.

"I know you wouldn't, Camzi. I know..." Lauren trailed off, finally happy to have found a light in her life.

"I-I have something to tell you too." Camila stuttered and pulled away.

Lauren wiped her eyes, thinking about how she was finally and completely over him. She then reached over to grab Camila's hand and placed all her focus on what the brown-eyed girl had to say.

"Well, I want to tell you why I was a 'fuckgirl' too." Camila mumbled shyly. She was holding the chain in her hand, a silver promise ring attached to the end which Lauren grabbed to examine it.

"It belonged to Alex. My ex-boyfriend." Camila revealed and Lauren nodded urging her to continue.

"We met our sophomore year of high school. We were in the same grade and inseparable. Fast forward, we started dating and I fell in love with him. Two years later on our Prom night, I guess I wanted to reward him? He was always asking to have sex and I was a virgin and just wanted to wait a little longer, until it was special." Camila was the one who needed her tears wiped now, Lauren was already there for her.

"I gave him what he wanted that night, and it was like he was set free. He stopped being a good boyfriend, demanding me to do things I didn't want to do. Eventually, he left me for girls who would put out more than once and I was just, devastated." Camila said with tears streaming down her face while Lauren hugged her tightly.

"I just didn't want to get hurt anymore. Seeing how he never really cared and him being with other girls hurt so much. I didn't want to feel anymore. So I guess that's when fuckgirl Camila was born. Fucking girls over and not giving myself a second thought about them. Just like Alex did to me." Camila muttered and Lauren held her tight.

After a few moments, allowing Camila to calm down, she felt...Free. Telling Lauren about her past set her free from it.

"Hey-" Lauren said catching Camila's attention.

"I love you." Lauren said simply and leaned in to kiss the girl. Camila smiled into it and the girls broke out laughing.

"Come here." Lauren demanded and stood up, holding out her hands for her girlfriend. Camila took them in a heartbeat and was pulled to her feet.

"C-can I?" Lauren asked nervously, holding out her hand. Camila gladly handed over the ring.

"This-" Lauren said and held up the cheap ring. "-This is the end of our shitty pasts. From now on...Alex and Nick, those two don't matter. We have each other now and forever, baby." Lauren finished her speech off by chucking the ring as far as she could off of the cliff's edge.

Camila felt fully free. She felt light, happy, and deeply in love.

Lauren grimaced at the feeling of almost throwing her shoulder out of place, but she felt lighter too. It felt like a weight was gone and she could now fully be herself. Because that's who she was with Camila. Herself.

"I love you." Both girls said at the exact same moment. Giggling, Lauren pulled her girlfriend into her arms and kissed her sweetly.

Life is definitely better when someone loves you back.