luke hemmings imagines

#imagine: nothing last forever.

#imagine.
(triggering warning may apply)

"i love you forever and always."
"don't say that, because in forever, it's over and nothing last forever."
"i don't care, i love you forever and always."

you were right, it didn't last forever, it never does when you hear those couples say "forever and always." because that's just an excuse that says "even if we break up, you'll be in my heart."
that's how it always happens.
but it wasn't breaking up that made you two fade away, it was that one cold night driving home from your date. a drunk driver went through a red light and hit the drivers side of your car and he died of impact.
there was nothing to be done, there was no saving him, no second chance, he was gone and there was no coming back.
you think your cursed, it happened before but it hurt you so much more seeing him go at a young age, seeing his band move on without him and having a hard time getting used to it only being 3 members. that's when it started for you, everyday looking at a picture of him, you would cut once on your wrist, telling yourself that you should be the one dead, not him. wishing and hoping it was all a dream and you were in a coma or something. but you were always awake mostly when the blood hit the floor in the bathroom.

6 months later and you were getting better. it wasn't everyday you cut anymore, and you were having help from the other 3 members, when they first found out about all the scars on your wrist they hugged you for a good 3 hours telling you that it wasn't your fault he was gone, and it's okay to be upset. so they took all your razors but the one you had hid, and flushed them. but in the six months you have been feeling better, and not lost in your thoughts about him all the time.

one year since the accident and you find yourself at his grave, looking at the tombstone, feeling each letter of his name and wishing you could be held by him right now. everyday you miss him so much, but he made you realize that nothing last forever, and you have to try and get over it.
"i do love you forever and always. i just wished i said that to you sooner." you said as you walked off.

its been ten years & you still go to the graveyard every year just to be with him. You miss him truly and you think about him everyday. Your husband was waiting in the car for you with your baby girl in the backseat looking out at you happily. You love your family, but you can't help but wish you started a family with him, your first real love.

"ten years ago today, you decided to leave my life way sooner then we both wanted you to. I miss you everyday and I wish you were still here with me, you being the one I start a family with. You left me on my own for a long time, and I thought it was my fault. I realized it wasn't and I decided to move on. Well as much as I can anyways. I'll see you soon. I love you very much."

you place the white rose on his tombstone and kiss your hand before placing it to the tombstone, and as you walk away tears start falling down your cheeks.

that's the last time you saw that tombstone as you decided it's time to move to the future and stop playing on the past.

"I love you forever and always." You said one last time looking at his grave before getting in the car with your baby girl and husband.