[MJ Fanfiction] Whatever Happens (Sequel to "What Happened That Day")

Part 37: Figuring Things Out

June's point of view

What do you do now, huh? Your man's asking you to marry him, that's what you wanted, right? Then why the fuck are you hesitating? Why can't you just end yours and his pain by saying yes, and be devoted to your man for the rest of your life?

"June, please marry me," Michael begged me again. "I'm so sorry, I want you and only you. I've been a jerk, and I know it," he went on, looking at me in the eyes at that point. "I can't live without you, and I'm sorry for everything I did to you. Please, babygirl. Marry me," he cried, cupping my face in his hands.

"Michael," I sighed, removing his hands from my face but keeping a hold on them afterwards, "Stop begging me like this. I love you, and you know that. You know I'd do anything for you -"

"Then just say yes," he cut me off, and the look in his eyes touched me to the core.

"It's not that easy," I sighed again, looking down to hide my tears. "You hurt me, and I know you could cause me pain like this again in the future."

"I won't, I promise. You need to trust me," he sobbed, squeezing my hands.

"Did you? Did you trust me when I needed your trust? No. So why should I trust you now?" I answered in a shaky voice.

"I've made a mistake, I know I should have trusted you, I know I should trust you now, and I do! I realized how hard you try to be the perfect person for me, and I'm sorry it took time for me to realize that. Please forgive me," he silently cried again.

"I don't know if I can forgive you for leaving this way."

"So you're saying no?" he asked me, and I could hear the pain in his voice.

"I'm not saying anything. I just need time to figure things out..."

"Figure things out? What do you mean?"

"I need to know if you're really willing to marry me, and begin to trust me once for all. I need to know that you didn't ask me that on an impulse, just because you feel guilty for turning down my proposal."

"Is that all you need to figure out? Because to me, it's all clear: I love you, and I want you to be my wife. I've been stupid to think that it'd be okay for us to stay this way. I want to make you mine, and I'm ready to trust you. You made your point clear, and now I know you're sincere and ready to be completely devoted to me."

I broke eye contact with Michael, and focused on the floor underneath my feet. Eveything he was saying was what I needed to hear to be happy, but it didn't make me feel as good as I thought it would.

Something wasn't right.

"Please, say something," Michael begged, lifting my chin up.

My eyes met his wattery ones again, and I smallowed the lump in my throat.

"Prince," I breathed, guilt filling my voice. "I know he's somwhere in New York filming his upcoming movie."

"I know, he told me this. Now what about him?"

"I need to see him," I declared without thinking at the mention of his name.

That was the thing that didn't feel right.

"But... Y-You told me - "

"I didn't say anything, and I'm not telling you anything right now. I'm just saying that I need to know what I want."

"Who you want," Michael corrected me in a whisper. "You have feelings for him."

"I don't know, but if I have, they won't ever be as strong as those I have for you."