Where has the Time Gone

Chapter Twenty

Sitting on the couch looking at old photos of the family tearing up. This is how it all started. My beautiful family. From my childrens first heart beat, their first kick, and their first breath. Watching my family grow up, succeed, go through trials and grow stronger. Pictures from Slades collage graduation, the one time his parents actually came to something big. 

Rubbing my stomach flipping through the pictures in this eerie house. My thoughts catch me off guard looking down to our carpet where my fathers blood is covered with a rug. This house has memories, this is where Slade and I moved into after Deklan was born, every other child was born here. In these walls. 

I hear a loud crash making me jump whipping around seeing Billy crashing into the wall, ramming his head into it over and over. "Billy! What did my wall do to you?" I bark making him make a hideous screach charging the couch jolting the whole thing. "Hey!" I smack the top of his head, he just leaps to the very top of it just standing their. "Are you a mountain goat? Get off!" I shove him next to me putting him in a gentle head lock rubbing his side. He nuzzles my side calming down, I pat his side letting him chill on my lap looking through the photos. 

The door opens, Millie and her baby carrier with her husband come in, she beams rushing over to me. "Trella!" She squeeks setting her car seat down going over hugging me. "Oh my gosh its been so long! Wheres the knuckle head Slade?" She pulls her chunky baby out of his carrier still blabbering the crap out of my ear. I reach my arms out like a child squealing. 

"Give me the baby! Baby! Baby!" I practically die just wanting to hold him. She laughs at me handing her baby over to me, a huge smile plasters to my face finally able to hold him properly. "Whats his name?" I rock his chubby self rubbing his back smiling. 

"Its Lucas after Keirans dad." She sits back relaxing, Keiran sitting by her holding her hand, he lays his head on her shoulder. "So whats been happening? Details!" She chirps back to her old self. 

"Well, Deklan has followed in mine and Slades footsteps and he has a baby on the way, and I am pregnant myself." I rock Lucas while he sleeps sucking on his fist, I smile down to him so excited to be able to hold my own baby soon. 

"Are you kidding me?!" Millie yells making Lucas jolt awake, the sad little face he makes as he wails with fear. Keiran jumps up taking his son in his huge arms rocking him. Seeing Keiran look at his son the way he does, with so much love and adoration makes my heart swell.  "Deklan got a girl pregnant? Did he not listen to us telling him how damn hard it was for you two?!" Her face burns red crossing her arms trying to settle down. 

"Dont mind her, ever since Lucas was born and people talk about their kids she explodes."

"Dog house." She snaps at Keiran, he groans rubbing his face. 

"Millie it was like a month and a half ago, its handled, their is nothing to do now." I rub Billys side while he snores obnoxiously. She huffs pulling her hair up into a bun, the still bright purple an blue. Her hands reach out to Lucas, Keiran gently lays him in her gentle and welcoming arms. Lucas coos loudly making me smile, I cant wait for this. Millie feeds Lucas not embarrassed at all about her showing. 

"So how far along are you? Oranges still bugging you?" She asks leaning back lounging, her ankles prop up on the coffee table, her shoes very clean not jacking up the polish. 

"Five weeks." Her eye brows raise looking at me like im an idiot. 

"Hardly anyone finds out that freaking early! Wow this pregnancy is going to be torturous for you. Thirty five more weeks. Mine was fan-freaking-tastic! I found out at six months!"  Rolling my eyes at her. 

"It was just as horrible, you were so stressed out about getting all his things together before he came." 

"Hey side note, what the hell happened to your face? Did Slade so this? Leave him. Now. Get out." She demands pointing to the upstairs. 

"No! He didnt! Dont worry about it, jeeze Millie go the heck to sleep you guys go sleep in the guest room Ill watch him okay?" I motion to the already passed out Keiran, Millie looks at her baby uneasy. 

"Hes never been away from me." She says making her grip on him slightly tighter, slowly standing I carefully take him away from her coddling him. 

"Go to sleep." I whisper rocking the already asleep Lucas, hes tired of wearing out his parents. Chuckling to myself, Im so funny. 

She sighs nodding nudging Keiran, he grunts waking up. "Time to go?" He mumbles totally out of it, poor kid. 

"No you dummy." She takes his hand leading him to the guest room, he can hardly make it up the stairs, each step seems like hell weighing on his shoulders. I remember those days, I needed so much help from them all to help me with Deklan, he was not the nicest baby to me. Maybe for karma for being such a bitch to Slade and everyone around me during that time.

Rocking Lucas I think back on those horrible memories. I was a total bitch, I didnt even mean it, I was just so stressed from trying to figure out how to grieve from losing my brother, getting pregnant, trying to figure out what to do with school, going from a very unsafe house to a very safe house, and getting married. All that happening at one time is pretty stressful, but it is still no excuse for being that way to the people who helped me, saved me and took me in. The people I love. 

Lucas stirrs in his sleep his uncoordinated hands waving all over the air, he tucks his hands beside his head continuing in his innocent slumber. He is such a cute baby, his cuteness makes me want to just kiss his face like crazy, but then again hes not my child, Millie would most likely murder me.

I hold him in my arms staring at his face, so many memories flooding me today. Looking back, seeing me so young and having a child, so innocent and young, my heart swells for the love of children, but from being as old as I am having a child I feel so capable and mature, but seventeen? With a child? I was just a child myself, that is so ridiculous, I cant even believe I did those idiotic things. I let out a heavy sigh, so many things on my mind, I set Lucus in his car seat going to the bathroom. The blades look so tempting, so soothing. Just one wont hurt.

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