Where has the Time Gone

Chapter Seventeen

I sit in the waiting room for Slade, my hand on my chest, my heart pounding in my chest. Ive missed my husband so much, the boys have missed him as well. Even though hes only been in here a week. This place is brutal, its disgusting and loud. All the buzzing, cussing, spitting, and screaming. This is not a place for my husband to be, a doctor. 

"Hey mom." Deklan comes in hands in his pockets, his hair in a messy style, hes grown up to look just like his father with a hint of Jacob. Oh how I miss my brother dearly, he would know what to do in this situation. 

"Hi baby boy." I stand hugging in, he hugs me back briefly, his hand going to his hair slicking it back. 

"How is he? Is he coming home yet?" He sits down with me while the others play on my phone or their tablets. I sigh putting my head in hands stressed out, I miss him, I miss waking up to him every morning and that isnt happening. 

"Hes getting beat in there and yet they still arent letting him come home." He rubs my back gently, I let out a heavy sigh, I just want my life to be calm for once, it never is. 

"Mom it will be okay, just dont worry about it, everything will be alright." He hugs me the best he can making me smile, it seems like yesterday when he was small enough for me to be holding him, now hes bigger than me and holding me. His mother. Wow I just need some sleep Im going nuts.

"I hope so, I really do." I sigh waiting for the visitation hours to begin, I really need to talk to Slade, I miss him. 

"Trella!" Vanessa calls making me snap my attention over to her, she comes over sitting by us with her daughter, she sits by Gale just talking and playing on his tablet. " I know all you have been hearing is the passed couple days is that it will get better, but thats true, everything will be okay. Maybe you guys should think about moving? I mean since this area seems to attract trouble to you guys?" Both of us chuckle, but mine is more of a courtesy laugh, its not funny but it is true. 

"I cant move mom, Livie is here." Deklan says intently focusing on his phone, I dont think he realizes what he is saying but I cant take him away from them. I could only imagine if Slades parents took him away from me and Deklan. Especially during that time.

"I know sweety we wont." I sigh head in hands, I just want our lives to be okay from now on. There is a loud buzz and soon all inmates that have visitors come out in chains and hand cuffs. I quickly stand seeing Slade, his face black and blue, dried blood plastered on his face, bandages over his nose and jaw. My lip quivers seeing him like this, how could they let this happen to him? 

I rush over to the small table along with the boys, Finn hugs him tightly and the officers rip him from Slade. I quickly grab Finn holding him. "I just wanted to hug dad!" He wails loudly, I hold him on my lap looking up to Slade. 

"Hi Trella." He chuckles coughing harshly, a loud groan escapes his split lips holding his side. "How are you baby?"

"Slade what is going on? Why is this happening?" I usher out really wanting to hold his hands. His eyes are hopeless, he looks down sighing. 

"Its nothing, dont worry about it okay?" 

"I cant help but worry about it Slade! I love you!" From the corner of my eyes I see huge men snickering at Slade along with their families. 

"I love you too, but their is nothing you can do anymore. Dont get your hopes up for me getting out anytime soon."

"What do you mean anymore?" I ask urgently, I just want him to be okay!

He sighs shaking his head looking at the table before responding. "Im going to court soon, and I didnt want to tell you so you dont get even more stressed than you already are." 

"Slade." I whimper wanting so badly to just touch him, its hurting me I want to hold him and touch him. "I just want you home." He sighs nodding wiping his face with his orange jump suit. 

" I want to come home just as much as all of you want me home. I want to be with my family, my children, our little bean, our soon to be grandchild. Trella I do want to be there and all I want to do is be with the people I love. Not people that beat the living shit out of me." Tears well in his eyes, all he does is look at his lap. "Trella I love you all I promise, but if I had to do it all over again I wouldnt do it any differently, your father deserved to die." 

"But you dont deserve to be in here!" 

"I know that! But look what happened! Im in here anyways! Everyone says their innocent and no matter how many times I actually say that they just roll their eyes at me! Im an innocent man but I got what was coming to me! I just had the balls to protect the innocent people when these cops only have artificial ones! Im more manly than they are!" 

"Slade Ericson enough!" An officer from the corner barks to him, but I can tell that was a vulnerable subject for him because the officers hands are now folded infront of his crotch. It happens to everyone when they feel vulnerable or attacked they protect or hide their junk. 

"Trella Im sorry, and I cant express enough to you all on how much I love you all. I will do everything I can do to get out of here sooner." I nod sniffling. 

"I love you too Slade and thank you for saving me." He smiles softly his eyes giving up on any hope. "Ill get you out of here I promise." I stand just as the officers take them all away to their cells, him still looking at me mouthing 'I love you' to me. My heart clenches and I look down at my feet taking all the kids to the car. 

"Mom what was he talking about, 'little bean'?" Deklan asks, I just look down getting into the car along with everyone else. 

"Yeah mom!" Finn asks buckling himself in. 

"Im pregnant." I say backing out of the visitors parking lot. Deklan gasps. 

"Are you kidding me?!" He yells at me. "How could you be so stupid? You're too old! You did this to get back at me didnt you?!" He screams at me with such hatred and venom, I just drive away. "Are you kidding me mom?! Let me out of this damn car!" 

"Deklan its not your choice weather I have another baby or not! Im married to your father so I can do whatever the hell I please! You do not control me! I am the mother and you are the child! You are the one that should not be having a child so young!" I bark at him. "So dont yell at me for having a baby! I have supported you and cared for you through this the least you can do is be okay with the fact your getting another sibling!" I scream at him gripping the wheel tightly. 

"You did this to get back at me!" 

"Deklan enough! I dont have time for your nonsense right now!" He fumes angrily. The other kids in the back just sit there silently, a huge tension in the  air. I pull up in the drive way and Deklan gets out slamming the door shut harshly. Holding my face in defeat the other kids slowly get out of the car gently closing the door and going inside. I start giving up, debating everything. I cant believe he just yelled at me for having another baby, that should have been me but I was kind about it! 

Tears well up in my eyes holding my face in agony I start wailing, from exhaustion and stress, my hormones I just let it all out. I haven't had time to sleep off my emotions, Im a mother of four and soon to five and I have my duties, I have a business, and a husband in jail. My husband killed my father, I went to jail, he is, Im probably going to loose my business, Slade might go to prison, Deklan is having a baby so young. I just dont know what to do, Im stumped. My life seems so impossible at times, I just want to hand it all up to someone else. 

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