We all make it to the lake. I look around and a flood of memories come swirling back to me. Memories if my mom and dad sitting by the lake, fishing. My sister and I playing in the water splashing each other or making mud castles because there is no sand here.
I take a deep breath wheel myself across the dock. The breeze is cool and subtle giving me goosebumps along the nape of my neck.
I close my eyes and feel the sun beating down on me. I tried to take in and remember my childhood, before everything turned to shit.
"Demi just arrived." Tulisa said interrupting my thoughts. "I'm going to go stand next to you're friends."
"Okay." I smile and squeeze her hand before she leaves.
Demi comes up behind me. She doesn't say a word. I know she's still angry but this isn't about her right now. It's about my sister and remembering her life.
"Is everyone here?" I ask as I keep my gaze focused on the ripples in the water.
"Yeah." She's blunt.
"I take a handful of my sisters ashed and toss them into the water. Demi does the same and so do the rest of the people at the funeral. The vase is brought back to me with only half of the remains.
"Do you want to keep the rest of them?" Demi asks.
I stare at the water for a moment before I answer.
"No, this is where she belongs." I dump the vase over and spill out the rest of the ashes. I hand the vase to Demi and wheel myself back to the car. I didn't care how much it hurt my body to turn those wheels. I just did it and kept doing it until I reached the van.
"What the hell Nicki?" I heard Demi whisper yell behind me.
"What?" I turn towards her. Tears were starting to form in my eyes and I didn't want anyone else to see me cry. My sister is gone and I'm finally coming to terms with it.
Demi kisses my forehead. "We will be through this together okay?" She looks me in the eyes.
"Okay..." I whisper.
She helps me into the limo and gets in beside me. Demi pulls out her phone and texts her mom, 'meet us at the dinner.'
She always seemed to know what I needed at the right time.
I wipe my tears and lean my head in Demi's shoulder.
"I can't believe she's really gone..." I whisper.
"I know baby. Come here." Demi holds onto me as softly as possible in order to refrain from hurting me.
"So, who did you drive to the lake with?"
"Tulisa."
I can feel her body grow tense. Uh oh, jealous girlfriend time.
"Oh. Cool." She says plainly.
I sit up and look at her. She looks out the window so she doesn't have to make eye contact with me.
"Baby?" I say.
"What?" Demi chews her nails.
"I would never hurt you. I love you and only you. I promise. You know I don't break promises." I take her hand in mine.
She tries to hide her smile buy I turn her face towards me.
"You're so beautiful Demi." I put my hand on the back of her neck and pull her into me for a kiss. Our lips connect and dance. The only feelings are love and the desire to be closer. In that moment I needed Demi just as much as she needed me.
When we finally pull away we are both gasping for breath. "I love you Nicki." Demi whispers. Her forehead rests on mine.
"I love you Demi." I kiss her one more time before laying my head back on her shoulder. Our hand entangles in one another. She makes the pain go away. She makes me feel safe and wanted. I need her.
-
The dinner seemed to drag on forever. It was full of apologies and sorrow. Oh, and hugs. Did I mention I hate being hugged? Especially when you're bruised and broken in areas.
After everyone left pain was radiating from areas of my body I didn't even know could hurt. Demi out a warm bath on for me. Her sister and mother were going to stay the night before heading home tomorrow so we plan on having a movie night with everyone. Demi thought it would help me talk my mind off of things.
"Babe, before we watch movies will you run a hot bath for me? I'm in so much pain." I ask Demi.
"Of course honey." She wheels me through our room and into the master bathroom. I was still getting used to Demi's house. It was so big.
Dallas and Diana, Demi's mom, were both down stairs. It was weird having them here. They acted like they've known me forever.
"There all filled up." Demi helped me stand up.
I stripped myself of my clothing and she helped me into the bathtub.
"Anything else?" She looks me up and down. I know she hates looking at my broken body. It hurts her.
"Will you get in with me please?" I kiss her hand and she smiles softly.
"I thought you'd never ask." Demi says as she takes off her shirt and bra. God she is so fucking gorgeous. She takes off her remaining clothes and tosses them to the side. I melt at the sight of her.
I don't just feel lust when I see Demi, I feel love, a certain connection that's deep and unobtainable through anything or anyone else.
She climbs in behind me and I rest my back on her chest. I close my eyes and take in the feeling of her skin as it brushes mine. It was intense.
I open my eyes and trace my finger along her tattoos on her arms. I loved them. Everyone she had meant something beautiful. Something she got over and accomplished.
"Will you marry me?" I turn my head and look at Demi, waiting for her answer.
