Alright, just to let you know, the stupidity of a teenage girl isn't something contagious. I caught it though even if it is impossible and I realized that, I'm really, really, in some deep shit. Don't be afraid. You might learn from me what is means to be stupid. Yes, I'm a blond, but no I'm not stupid and their supposed to be dumb, right? Wrong.
Okay, I'm warning you, don't make fun of me, because if this situation ever happens to you, what would you do? So fuck off unless you want me to give you sweet, warm, slap on the back for good luck (which hurts like hell with a tank top on.)
Well here it goes. This is my freakin' story so don't comment on my move.
I groan and get up for school. I realize that my Shakira CD has been playing all night and I run to turn it off, only to trip and fall straight on my face into the dirty floor. Yep, this is gonna be the best day ever. I know it.
I turn it off and hurry to throw some clothes on. I brush my hair and straighten it, then I put on a little bit of makeup. On my way out of the bathroom I pet my dog, Willow. She's so cute! I hurry up then and go down stairs, once again almost tripping. "Jamie! Time for breakfast!"
"Alright!" I yell back at her and make it to the bottom of the stairs without tripping. I turn around and laugh at the stairs. "Haha! Try again next time, stairs!"
"Jamie, who are you talking to?" my older brother Evan asks me yawning. He comes down the stairs and I take off. I don't want to talk to him while he's tired. He wouldn't listen to a damn word I say anyways.
In the kitchen Mom has made some eggs and toast. I sit down and start eating. Dad looks at me and he chuckles. "Whuff (What)?" I ask him with a mouth full of toast.
"You hurry so much. Slow down and try to enjoy your breakfast, Jamie."
"But I have to hurry! I have to walk Willow and then hurry up and get a ride with Evan," and I babble on and on eating my toast. I try to take a drink of my of my orange juice and spill it on my jeans. "Jesus! God! Ugh!" I yell trying not to cuss around my parents. "I've had enough of breakfast!"
I run back up the stairs, forced to take off my converse and socks again. This time I throw on a pair of light blue shorts and then put back on my knee-high red socks and my black converse. Willow is laying on my bed, so I call her. "Come on, Willow! Let's go for a walk!"
The walk sucks! Williow drags me around the block because she's chasing a squirrel. My hounddog's natural instincts kick in and, Jesus that was a tiring walk. Mornings are so hard! I have to let her and grab my bag in time to jump into the car with Evan where I finally relax.
"Your such a busybody," Evan tells me and starts the car.
"Yeah!" my little sister Olive says laughing at me. "I heard you yelling at the stairs this morning! It was funny."
I stick out my tongue at the brat. "I ran past your room and saw you struggling to tie your shoes! How about that? Miss Brat?"
She turns away with red cheeks and I grin. I look out the window and sigh. I really am a busybody but who can blame me? It's not easy to be me. It's not easy to be anyone. My phone says I have a text and I look at it.
Emily Wright: I saw u getting dragged by W again >:D
Jamie Miller: Shut up >:P She's not easy to walk. Plus I've had a hard morning, Emm
Emily Wright: OK then so what was with the still riding with Evan?
Jamie Miller: Evan goes to our school so what's wrong with it? Easy to get a ride instead of riding with screaming kids on a bus
Emily Wright: Well ur right 'bout that!
When I get to school finally with Evan we have to hurry or we're gonna be late to class. I get to class in time, I just hope Evan does. I sit by Emily in here and that's how I met her. Of course the teacher didn't notice that he put the wrong person by Emily though. Her boyfriend Gale (ugh I hate him) who she always talks to instead of me now.
Once again, this is going to be a boring day, with my boring life, and my freakin' BORING school will bore me to death! I tap my nails on the desk until Mr. Howard comes in talking about how he had to go to the dentist and BLAH! Teachers don't seem to notice WE DON"T CARE! Seriously. The only people who care are people that I hate: the preps and suck-ups.
My enemy is actually the Queen Suck-up. Her name is Mandy and she drives me crazy! Every time I get detention she whispers things to her snobby friends about me and it pisses me off big time! One time she pissed me off and I punched her. I was suspended for . . . three days? Yeah, three days.
Mandy is passing out papers for Mr. Howard and she points at me. "Mr. Howard!" she yells with her high-pitched voice. "Jamie is wearing short-shorts! They show too much!"
My jaw drops and I think of a come back while Mr. Howard gets up to look. (I think Mr. Howard is secretly a pervert.) "Your looking? That's really gay, Mandy."
Her red lip glossed lips pop open with a pop. "Mr. Howard she called me a --"
Nobody tells on her, but Emily had been slowly sticking an ipod with a song about to play in 10 seconds in Mandy's little purse she carries around. The music booms and it's "Don't Trust Me" by 30H!3 and it's right at where it's talking about hoes.
"Don't trust a hoe, never trust a hoe, won't trust a hoe, cause a hoe won't trust me," it sings I think.
Mr. Howard sends both of us to the office. Principal Hogan is very fat, old, and he's annoying. I've seen him enough in my life to know his first name and be able to call him by it. "Hey, Joe," I say and sit down with Mandy beside me.
"I heard you are wearing short shorts, Jamie. Why?"
"Oh that's because this morning I spilled orange juice on my jeans and they were my only pair available. Others in the washer," I partially lie smoothly.
"And you, Miss Tyler, I never thought you would go against the rules of having an ipod in school! And that song! Well, Mandy you have detention and Jamie, go to the nurses office and get another pair of jeans."
"I'm allergic to a certain kind of cotton, remember?" (Also a lie I made up when I was little to get out of that.)
"Get some leggings from a friend, then."
"Yes sir!" I yell and leave the room, once again tripping on nothing. "Jesus!" I yell and get up. I sneak into my locker and pull out the leggings I keep on hold and go put those under my shorts. After that I go back to class where the hellish day drags on and on.
The song is Don't Trust Me by 3Oh!3
YOU ARE READING
The Crossdresser
RomanceJamie Miller is an average trouble maker at school, a liar, and she's the kind of girl that gets the guys but she don't want them. Not snobby, just herself. When she makes up a facebook for fun . . . as a guy, she meets a guy that's supposed to tran...
