Pain //h.s [Editing]

Chapter Forty-Six

So sorry for the wait! I wasn't very motivated to write this story due to my lack of ideas, but I have all of the chapters sorted out now and I hope to continue writing this consistently from here on out! Thank you for your patience xx

*Not edited*

Harry's POV

Riley and I spent hours with her family, and I loved every minute of it. I got to spend all that time with her, and it felt great to be in her presence again. I enjoyed being close to her like we used to be so recent ago, whether it was all an act or not. But, as much as I loved it and did it for my own needs, I did it mainly for her. She isn't ready to tell her family about us, especially her mother, and I have no problem with that.

We just got back to her apartment and of course, me being me, I followed her inside, much to her disapproval. She spent the whole ride back yelling at me once again, and she is still in the process of voicing her anger toward me.

"You are such a hypocrite! You tell me that you hate liars, you've said that since we first met, yet you are the one that has been lying to me this entire time!" She yells, throwing her arms up in exaggeration. We are having this conversation for the tenth time, yet each time she seems to approach the topic differently. It seems that no matter the amount that we argue over this, she has a new reason to be angry at me.

"I hate that I lied to you, you have no idea. It kills me knowing that I became what I hate the most, but I had no other choice! I've been lying to save my ass since I entered Andrew's gang and I've hated myself ever since for the person I've become! I didn't lie to you because I wanted to, I lied to you because I had to! When will you see that I did it for your own good?" I feel like a broken record, repeating myself to her over and over again until she memorizes every word I'm saying and finally starts to believe it.

"You keeping saying that, yet every time it gets harder for me to change my mind. I believe you now when you say you love me and that you did it to protect me, but at the same time I can't get over how selfish it was. If you claim for it to be so dangerous, then why did you let me get so close to you? Why did you let me get put through this?" She sighs, clearly becoming more exhausted with this continuous argument. "And, why did you put yourself through this? You want to get out of this little gang you're in, but now you can't because of me. Andrew poses more of a threat to you now that I'm part of your life. I don't get it, Harry."

"Listen, alright? Just listen to me," I demand, softly. She stops moving and looks at me with curious eyes. "Don't worry about me, okay? I've been doing this long enough to know what I'm doing. I'm going to get out of this one way or another, and I'm not going to let you get hurt, alright? I'm done tiptoeing around this, as of now, I'm done with Andrew and his so called business. Okay?" I tell her, staring at her as I wait for a reaction.

"Is that supposed to make me change my mind? You still lied to me throughout our entire relationship," she states, shaking her head. "I appreciate more than anything that you're trying to keep me safe and help your own future by getting out of this, but that doesn't change anything between us," she continues.

"Baby, please," I beg. "If I get out of this, not for me, but for you, give me another chance. I don't have anything more to try to hide from you, so there is no more lies. Trust me, Riley. I love you so fucking much, and I need you to forgive me and let up the fight."

I watch her hesitate, which gives me a small amount of hope. She's thinking about it, debating with herself. I know she wants this as much as I do, but she's not fully willing to let herself give in. She shouldn't, really, but I'm selfish enough to want her to, and she's a good enough person to do so, I know it. She loves me, and I'm lucky to be able to say that, even after all that I put her through.