Pain //h.s [Editing]

Chapter Forty Three

*Not edited yet, sorry*

Riley's POV

It's been only two days since I applied for all those jobs, and I have already gotten responses from three places. I got excepted at The Coffee Hut if I want to take it, and the other two places are looking to interview me. I'm still indecisive about what to do. I realize that it would be a whole lot easier to just except the job at the café, but it would also be great if I did the interviews for the other places so I would have more options if I got excepted for those. Working in a coffee house is not really my cup of tea.. Or coffee?

The two other places range from a bar and a cashier at a store in the centre of the city. I've never been one to think checking out other peoples items would be appealing, so I'm thinking of just ignoring that reply. Besides that, it would be inconvenient to drive that long through the city traffic and it would be a hassle to get there and back each day. The bar on the other hand would probably be the best option. I would most likely get evenings and nights for hours, which would work out when I start school. I would go to class, come home and study, and then go to work. It would be awfully tiring, but I don't really have much of a choice. Café hours would be in the day and I could only work the days I don't have school. That wouldn't be nearly enough.

I groan as I start typing out my reply to email the person that owns the bar. I might as well go do the interview and see how it goes before I reply to The Coffee House. I tell them that I will do the interview and that tonight is fine. Apparently I need to be there at seven o'clock tonight and it shouldn't take long at all. Hopefully it will go okay.

I pull myself up from the chair and gather close to take into the bathroom. It's already mid-afternoon and I haven't even considered getting dressed and ready for the day until now. I've been a complete wreck lately and I've had absolutely no motivation to do anything, so I've been soaking in the free time I have selfishly before school starts.

I take a quick shower, hoping it will relieve my stress at least the tiniest bit. I can't handle all of this anxiety for much longer and I know that if I do I will surely break. I'm just awaiting the moment that I'm positive will come where I halt and sob relentlessly with no one to hear me. I've been trying to keep my tears at bay and just when I think they are starting to settle, I'll crash. I still fine myself tearing up every now and then, mostly right before bed when the lights are off and it's silent and I'm left alone with my thoughts. I can't help but wonder if Harry is as but of a wreck as me, but for some reason I doubt it. He's tough and I'm sure he's over the crying by now.

Though I'm sure he has managed to stable himself for than I have, his phone calls still haven't ceased. They have, however, slowed down drastically. Instead of receiving them multiple times a day, they have diminished to once a day. I feel bad about ignoring him, but it's the only way to let go and I'm sure he will eventually come to terms with that. He has obviously started to except that i meant what I said and I am trying my absolute hardest to stick with my word. Harry needs to understand that this is what's best. It my not feel that way, but feelings often need to be pushed aside in order to accomplish what needs to be done.

Once I'm out of the shower and I've thrown on leggings and a random t-shirt, I toss my hair up into a messy bun and use bobby pins to tame the frantic pieces that I'm sure are determined to piss me off. Messy buns are gorgeous but they are the biggest disappointment when trying to tackle. I can never get them right and I envy the girls that make it look so simple.

It's when I enter the kitchen to get something to eat that I notice the sticky note stuck to the front of my fridge. I examine it closely and realize that it's grocery list I made yesterday and forgot all about. I groan as I open the fridge, noticing that I do in fact need to go buy more food. I have been so caught up with all my issues that I haven't even noticed the lack of it. It's then that I come to know that without my self-balance, I wouldn't be able to manage. Distraction was never something that got to me, but it is obvious now that that is all I've been this last little while: distracted.