Pain //h.s [Editing]

Chapter~ Forty One

*Not edited yet, my apologies*

Chapter Forty One
Riley's POV

When I get home, I'm surprised to find Harry sitting peacefully on my couch with a look of determination on his face. When he sees me enter the apartment he stands up quickly and sends me a short smile, one to which I do not return. I am disappointed in him for showing up unannounced and uninvited when he knows how upset I am with him. I told him I need space and time to think but he just simply cannot seem to be generous enough to allow me any of that.

"Riley, I-" I cut him off before he can get any further

"Get out, Harry," I say calmly. I will try my hardest not to let my temper get the best of this situation. For once, I would like to handle this like an adult but I doubt I will be able to do so with his stubborn demeanour.

"No, not until you listen to me," he shakes his head and takes a step closer to me.

I hold up my hand before saying, "please do not come any closer to me."

"Baby, why are you being like this? I understand that I have upset you and this is entirely my fault, but you do not need to be like this," he pleads, a looks of hurt flashing through his eyes.

"Yes I do, Harry. If you come near me I will let my guard down and fall into this trap. I can't give in so easily this time," I explain. I know that the minute Harry so much as touches my skin I will lose all sense of this situation and I will crumble at his finger tips.

"I am not trying to make you feel pressured or guilty, all I am asking is for you to let me explain myself," he begs, stepping closer yet again.

"You already have."

"No, I started to but you wouldn't let me finish. I am not leaving here until you let me finish," he speaks more sternly.

"Harry, I don't k-"

"No, Riley, let me speak," the anger in his tone and on his face convinces me not to argue any longer. It hurts more than anything, but I can't help but be a but frightened by him now. He hurts people for a living and I don't even want to begin to think of what he could do to me if I mad his mad enough. I want to believe that he would never harm me but I also used to believe that he didn't harm anyone else unless he needed to.

"Okay, fine. You have five minutes," I shiver as my voice comes out in a low whimper. his face falls when he notices this and he sighs to himself while running a hand through his hair.

"First of all, do not be scared of me, baby," he shakes his head and I can see his eyes brimming with tears. I have to look away before his emotional state turns me to mush. "I never wanted you to fear me, that's one of the main reasons I did not tell you about any of this. I would never lay my hands on a woman and I swear to God I would never dare lay a hand on you. Especially not you," a tear rolls down his cheek and he quickly uses the back of his hand to whip it away.

"I-"

"Let me finish," he whispers.

"I want you to know that I never intended to hurt you, that was not my intentions at all," he shakes his head again. "I don't even know how to continue.." He trails off, refusing to meet my eyes with his own.

"You have to tell me the truth, Harry. I won't be surrounded by your lies anymore," my voice causes him to look at me, finally. he studies my face before nodding slowly.

"I needed the money when I moved to America. Andrew, my boss, he offered me a job when I first arrived. He told me that all I would be doing is street fighting but once I excepted the offer I realized that he lied; I would also be selling drugs," he pauses to take a breath, reading my expression so far before he continues. "I told him that I didn't want to be apart of it if I would be selling, but he told me that once I was in I couldn't get out. he couldn't risk me tipping off the police so he made me stay."