Love vs. Lust

Chapter 50

“Gabby,” Gordon whispered, causing me to turn around and look at him as I reached the door.

“I know you love him, you should go,” he stated, looking me straight in the eyes. I had no idea what to reply to this so I just stared at him for a second before opening the door and stepping outside into the hallway. Cole was sitting on the floor against the wall but looked up as soon as the door opened. He looked so sad as he sat there that my insides started crawling with guilt. I have caused him so much pain and he has stuck with me through all of it.

“Are you ready to go?” he asked as he got to his feet.

“Almost, do you think I can have a few more minutes? I won’t be long,” I asked, knowing what I had to do.

“Yeah, ok,” Cole replied, looking at his watch to make sure we still had some time left.

“Thanks,” I whispered and then headed back into Gordon’s room.

“I told you to go with him,” Gordon stated as I stepped inside.

“I am, I just wanted to make sure that you are going to be ok,” I replied, walking over to him.

“I’ll be fine,” Gordon stated and although I didn’t quite believe him I had no choice but to take his word for it.

“When are you getting out of here?” I asked worriedly. I know I have made my decision and I was sticking with it because I wanted to but I couldn’t stop myself from worrying about Gordon. I mean, I do still love him and I will probably always care for him, feelings like that don’t just go away over night, even if you have found somebody that you love more.

“In two weeks, they want to make sure that I’m completely fine before they release me,” Gordon answered.

“That’s good,” I replied, trying to stay in control of my emotions.

“No it’s not, I hate this place,” Gordon chuckled, causing me to smile.

“What are you going to do when they release you,” I questioned curiously.

“Dr. Smithson wants to send me to a rehabilitation centre to get some physical and mental help so I guess I’ll go there for a while,” he answered, not looking happy about it at all.

“Maybe they can help you,” I stated, not really knowing what else to say.

“Yeah maybe, apparently once they think you are ok to be released they help you find a place to stay and a job so that a good thing,” Gordon replied, trying to sound cheerful but failing miserably.

“I’ve got all of your personal stuff at my house and your car is still parked in the parking lot, the landlord said we could leave it there for a while until we decided what to do,” I said, taking a step closer to him.

“That’s fine,” Gordon replied and I could see that he was trying to act strong for my sake.

“I’ll bring you your wallet and car keys and then you can come and fetch your stuff whenever you are ready,” I stated as my heart started beating faster in my chest. This was it, I was going to let him go and I had no idea if I was ever going to see him again but I had to do it. It is what is best for me and for Cole and for him, I hope.

“I’ll do that,” Gordon smiled.

“Good, then this isn’t goodbye,” I replied, knowing that it is exactly that.

“I have to go,” I whispered as I leaned forward and placed a kiss on his forehead. When I pulled away Gordon had a very sad expression on his face and I knew I had to leave right then so I turned around and walked away.

“Goodbye Gabby,” Gordon said as I reached the door. Hearing him say those words really hurt but I couldn’t let myself freak out so I took a deep breath and turned to look at him

“Bye Gordon,” I whispered, before pulling the door open and running out.

I know I didn’t want to freak out but saying goodbye isn’t an easy thing to do. I could only hope that Cole will understand.

He was standing against the wall but as soon as he saw me he ran toward me and wrapped me up in his arms. He held me until I calmed down before pulling away and wiping away my tears.

“Are you ok?” he asked, genuinely concerned.

“Yeah, it’s just hard saying goodbye,” I replied, looking up into his eyes to see his reaction.

“You said goodbye to him?” Cole asked, sounding a bit surprised.

“Yeah, I told you I love you more, didn’t I?” I asked, smiling at him.

“Yes you did,” Cole replied, pulling me back into his arms.

I felt so loved and safe in his arms and I had absolutely no doubt that I made right decision. Cole has always been my number one, I just didn’t always know it.

“Come on, let’s go get Conner,” I said as I pulled out of his arms and took his hand in mine.

Cole led me out of the hospital and I got into his car without looking back. I wanted to concentrate on my future and Cole and I couldn’t do that if I kept dwelling on the past. I have to believe that Gordon was telling me the truth when he said that he will be ok because I’m not going to be able to be there for him. I mean, I know Cole will let me visit Gordon and accept it if I wanted to be friends with but I’m not going to do that to him. I have put him through hell over the last couple of weeks and now I am going to focus all my energy on making him happy.

When we reached my house I was feeling much better and I couldn’t wait to have some alone time with Cole but first we had to take Connor to the airport. As soon as Cole brought his car to a stop in the driveway Connor came running out, looking pissed.

“I am so going to be late for my flight!” he complained as he pulled open the backseat door and jumped in with his bags and all.

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