Love vs. Lust

Chapter 39

I took a few steps back, trying to get away from everything I was feeling, trying to get away from my life. My whole body was shaking at this point and I felt light headed as the world spun around me. Cole pulled himself out of the pool and caught me just in time as I crumbled to the ground.

I woke up on the living room couch. My head was pounding and I felt disorientated. It took me a few seconds to remember what happened. I must have fainted.

“How are you feeling?” I heard Cole ask. I pushed myself up into a sitting position and looked around the room for him. He was sitting on a couch not too far away from me. He looked really worried.

“My head hurts,” I groaned.

“I’ll get you some aspirin,” Cole said, jumping to his feet and disappearing out of the living room. He returned within a minute holding a glass of water and some pills. He handed them to me and I gulped them down gratefully.

“Do you want to tell me what happened?” Cole asked sitting down next to me.

“I can’t,” I whispered as the vision of me and Gordon kissing flashed through my mind over and over again.

“It’s ok, just try to relax,” Cole replied, smiling at me. I knew he must have been really curious about what I remembered that would cause me to act the way I did but I was grateful that he didn’t push the matter. I will tell him, I just couldn’t do it right now.

It took a few minutes for the pills to kick in but when they did I felt a lot better. Cole took me home but insisted on staying with me. He was being really nice considering what happened earlier. I felt really bad about what I did, first I threw myself at him and then I pushed him away and freaked out. He must be really confused I thought to myself.

I wasn’t sure about what to say or do and I was actually feeling a bit uncomfortable around him. I needed him and he was really helping me, I didn’t want to ruin it by telling him how I felt. I was falling in love with him. It was all so weird and confusing. The feelings that I felt for him in my memories were doubled in strength now but I was afraid, afraid of the feelings I couldn’t remember. I knew he hurt me badly and I knew that I was supposed to be in love with Gordon which just made everything even more confusing.

The feelings I felt when I remembered kissing Gordon was overwhelming. They consumed me and I felt guilty and horrible for kissing Cole and forgetting about him.

I couldn’t get myself to eat lunch but when it was dinner time Cole insisted that I had to eat something. I wanted to get out and try to forget about everything so I asked him if we could go out. He agreed happily and we decided to go to a little diner next to the mall. I took a quick shower, changed my clothes and then we headed out.

All through dinner Cole kept his distance from me. He was being really sweet but made sure not to touch me. After we were done eating we went to the movies and then Cole took me home.

He walked in with me and from the look on his face I could tell that he didn’t want to go home.

“It’s late, do you want to stay over?” I asked, blushing slightly as I said the words. Cole has slept over at our house many times before but it has never been me who invited him. “Yea, if you are sure that it’s ok,” he answered, his eyes lighting up with happiness.

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