Love vs. Lust

Chapter 49

I could tell that Cole sensed my mood and I’m sure that he was worrying about what might happen as well. I didn’t want him to worry but there was nothing I could do about it. I mean, I already told him that I love him and want to be with him but at the moment I had to worry about Gordon and if he is going to be ok.

When we reached the hospital we both got out of the car and headed inside. Cole didn’t take my hand like he usually does so I took it upon myself and gripped his hand tightly in mine, causing him to smile nervously.

I wasn’t sure if we were allowed to go see Gordon so I asked for Dr. Smithson at the reception and then waited for him in the waiting room. It only took a few minutes for him to join us and I felt relieved when he did. I wasn’t sure what I expected him to tell us but I needed to know what was going on with Gordon.

“How is he?” I asked as soon as the doctor was in hearing range.

“He is doing remarkable well,” he replied, causing my insides to fill with relief. There was nothing I wanted more than for Gordon to be ok.

“Can we see him?” I questioned, wanting to see how he was doing for myself.

“Yes, of course but he was still sleeping when I left his room a few minutes ago and he needs his rest to recover so don’t overdo it,” Dr. Smithson answered.

“We won’t,” I replied in agreement and then started leading Cole towards Gordon’s room.

We walked in silence but when we reached it Cole pulled me to a stop. I turned around and looked up into his eyes. I could tell he was both worried and sad and I hated seeing him that way.

“It will be ok,” I whispered as I stepped forward and hugged him tightly.

“I hope so,” he breathed and then let go of me and my hand.

“He is awake now,” a nurse stated as she came walking out of Gordon’s room. I looked at her for a second, fighting off the urge to run into his room, before turning back to Cole.

“You should go, I’ll wait for you here,” he said, taking a step back from me.

“Are you sure?” I questioned, not really wanting to leave him there alone but understanding why he wouldn’t want to see me and Gordon together.

“Yeah, it’s better that way,” he answered, smiling weakly at me.

“Ok,” I agreed, nodding my head as I turned around and made my way into Gordon’s room.

“Gabby,” Gordon breathed as soon as I stepped through the door. He was sitting propped up in his bed and his eyes lit up as soon as he saw me. At that point I lost all self control as I ran across the room and flung my arms around him.

“Gordon,” I whispered as tears escaped my eyes and started running down my face.

“I missed you,” he whispered into my ear, causing my heart to break some more as an overwhelming feeling of guilt filled me from inside.

“I missed you too,” I replied, pulling away from him and looking into his beautiful eyes. It wasn’t a lie, even when I couldn’t remember I had this empty feeling inside of me that only his voice on those cd’s he made for me could fill.

He stared back at me with the strangest expression on his face before lifting his hand and wiping away my tears. His touch sent a shiver down my spine and caused a little moan of both pleasure and surprise to escape my lips.

“I’m sorry,” he said, pulling away his hand.

“Don’t be,” I replied, taking his hand and wrapping it in mine. This caused him to smile and I couldn’t help but smile to. Seeing him happy has always made me happy.

His eyes moved down from my face to our intertwined hands and lingered there for a while before he returned his gaze to me.

“Where did you get it?” he asked. At first I had no idea what he was talking about but then I looked down at our hands and saw the big diamond ring on my finger. It felt heavy, making me feel incredibly guilty for wearing it.

“It doesn’t matter,” I replied, pulling my hand out of his and slipping it off of my finger. I pushed it into my jeans pocket and then took his hand back into mine.

“Of course it does, who gave it to you?” he asked sounding a bit sad but coming across very calm.

“Cole,” I whispered, looking away, not wanting to see the hurt my words were going to cause him.

“That makes sense,” he replied, confusing me.

“What do you mean?” I asked, looking back at him and finding the hurt I was afraid of on his face.

“It’s obvious that he’s always been a better choice for you. He can give you things I can’t, he can make you happy and you deserve to be happy,” Gordon stated.

His words shocked and confused me. I had no idea what to make of them. I could tell that he wasn’t happy about the fact that I was with Cole but he sounded so sincere when he spoke the words that it just didn’t make any sense.

“I don’t understand, I was happy with you” I whispered, squeezing his hand as more tears escaped my eyes.

“I know but you deserved better, you were settling,” Gordon replied with a pained look on his face.

“No I wasn’t. I loved you and I still do. I wish you would stop putting yourself down like this! You are the best person I know!” I half shouted, feeling angry for how he was talking about himself and for how stupid he was to try and kill himself.

“It’s the truth Gabby, there are so many things I can’t give you,” he stated, looking me straight in the eyes.

“You know that the only thing I ever wanted from you was your love,” I stated, wondering why he was being so stubborn. How could he not know that I didn’t care if he was rich or not?

“I just thought you deserved better, I still do,” Gordon stated.

“I don’t think that’s possible,” I whispered, remembering all the times we spent together.

“Gabby,” I heard Cole’s voice say from the door.

“Yeah,” I replied, not looking at him. I didn’t want him to see that I was crying even though I’m sure he knew anyway.

“We have to go or we are going to be late for Conner,” Cole stated.

“Ok, just give me a minute,” I replied, still not looking at him. Cole didn’t reply but I heard the door close and looked up to make sure that he was gone before turning my attention back to Gordon.

“You should go, you don’t want to keep Conner waiting,” Gordon said.

“Cole can go, I’ll stay here with you,” I replied, really not wanting to leave. We still had so many things to talk about and I just couldn’t stand the idea of leaving him all alone.

“No, you should go. It’ll give you time to think about things and then if you still want to see me you can come back. It’s not like I’m going anywhere,” Gordon chuckled, reminding me of how happy and friendly he used to be.

“No, I’m staying right here,” I stated stubbornly as I got up from his bed and walked over to the door.

Love vs. LustRead this story for FREE!