Love vs. Lust

Chapter 42

The next morning I made us breakfast and watched as my brother and Cole happily chatted and laughed. It was good to see them together again. They must really miss each other since they spent almost every minute of their lives together before Conner headed off to college. Cole would have gone to the same college but insisted on staying behind after what happened to me. He really is more then I deserved.

We spent the day together and then went to some fancy restaurant in town for dinner.

“Couldn’t we just get burgers?” Conner asked as we made our way inside.

“No, I want to spoil Gabby a bit,” Cole replied, squeezing my hand. I smiled up at him and laughed at the grin he had on his face.

A waitress led us to our table and we all sat down. It really was a beautiful restaurant but for some reason I couldn’t quite place I felt really uneasy. I considered asking Cole if we could leave but he seemed really happy so I pushed my feelings aside and concentrated on trying to have a good time.

The food was really expensive but Cole is rich and insisted that I ordered whatever I wanted. We ate and laughed and at that moment everything felt right but it didn’t last. It didn’t take long for everything to come crashing down around me.

“I got you something,” Cole said, as he took something out of his jacket pocket and smiled his gorgeous smile at me. I turned toward him as excitement filled my body. I’m not a material girl since I’ve basically been poor all my life but I’m not going to deny that I like to be spoiled every now and then.

Cole pulled his hand from his pocket and held a little box out to me. I took it from him and slowly opened it. Inside was a beautiful diamond ring. It was big and sparkly and as I looked at it my mind was flooded with memories.

The box fell out of my hand and hit the floor with a little thud. I looked up from it and was met by two pairs of confused eyes.

“I… I need to get some air,” I stuttered as I pushed myself to my feet and started making my way out of the restaurant. My head was spinning and I felt slightly dizzy as the onslaught of memories continued.

By the time I reached the exit I could remember everything. How I met Gordon, how we fell in love and how he tried to kill himself.

I was heaving for breath as I stepped outside and leaned against the parking lot wall.

“Gabby?” I heard a familiar voice ask. I knew it was Cole and I could hear how worried he was but I just couldn’t get myself to look at him. I slumped down the wall as I started sobbing uncontrollably.

“Gabby, please, tell me what’s going on,” he begged, falling to his knees in front of me.

“I… I remember, everything,” I stated looking up into his eyes as a mixture of emotions filled them.

I could tell that he didn’t know what to say because he just stared at me for a full minute before pulling me into his arms and hugging me tightly. Being in his arms helped a bit, but not a lot. The memories were strong and fresh and there was one particular one I couldn’t get out of my mind. The sight of Gordon hanging from his roof was overpowering and I could feel my heart breaking all over again.

“What happened?’ Conner asked, coming to a stand next to us.

“She remembered,” Cole answered as I pulled out of his arms and looked up and Conner.

“Are you ok?” he asked, holding his hand out to me. I took a hold of it and let him pull me to my feet.

“No,” I answered honestly, still sobbing.

“I don’t know what to say sis, I’m so sorry you have to go through all of this,” he stated, pulling me into a hug. I hugged him back and the pulled away.

“I should take you home,” Cole said, taking my hand in his.

“No,” I whispered, knowing that my next few words were going to cause him a lot of pain but I just had to do it.

“What do you mean?” Cole asked, looking confused.

“I need to go see Gordon,” I stated, unable to meet his eyes. He was silent for a while before he replied.

“Ok, I’ll take you,” he said nervously.

“I don’t think that is such a great idea, you two should go home and keep each other company. I’ll get a cab,” I replied, needing to be alone. I looked at him for a second but then quickly had to look away again. The look in his eyes was awful and I just couldn’t deal with it at the moment.

“I don’t think you should be alone right now,” Conner stated. I looked at him with more success.

“I’ll be ok, please just let me do this,” I half begged, half demanded.

“Ok,” Conner agreed reluctantly.

I quickly phoned for a cab and then walked to the edge of the parking lot while I waited. I could feel both Cole and Conner’s eyes on me so I didn’t dare look back, scared that I will have another breakdown if I did. I only stopped crying now and I had to be strong, at least until they couldn’t see me anymore.

The cab didn’t take long to arrive and when it did I jumped in and gave the driver the address. The trip to the hospital did take a while though and by the time we got there I was a complete mess. I had managed not to cry but my heart was racing, my head was spinning and it felt like I was going to freak out at any second.

“Thank you,” I whispered as I handed the driver his money and got out of the cab. The hospital was huge and I felt like a lost little girl as I made my way inside.

I knew where Gordon’s room was so I didn’t bother asking at the reception desk. Instead I got into the elevator, pressed the button and hoped that I was strong enough to make it through this.

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