Love vs. Lust

Chapter 41

The night dragged by slowly and it seemed like hours passed before the movie ended. Cole had taken my hand and held it gently throughout the movie making me feel even guiltier because I liked how it felt.

“Come on Gabby, tell me what’s wrong,” Cole said, turning to me as the movie finished. I considered lying to him but decided against it.

“I feel guilty for being with you,” I answered, looking away from him.

“You don’t have to, he would want you to be happy,” Cole whispered after a few seconds of awkward silence.

“I know, it just feels so wrong to be happy when he is…,” I started saying but trailed off. I couldn’t get myself to say the words out loud.

“I’m so sorry you have to go through all of this, I wish there was something I could do to make things right,” Cole said, his voice full of concern and love.

I turned around on the couch and looked him straight in the eyes. I could see how much he loves me and I knew that what he just said was true. He would really do anything for me.

“I don’t want to lose you,” I whispered softly.

“You won’t, that’s one thing you don’t ever have to worry about,” Cole said, smiling gently.

“Thanks for understanding,” I replied, moving closer to him and cuddling into his arms. He hesitated for a second but then wrapped his arms around me and held me tightly, making me feel better.

We just sat there like that for a while until I finally pulled away.

“Will you stay with me again tonight?” I asked, not wanting to be alone.

“That’s a very stupid question,” Cole chuckled.

“You can’t blame me for making sure, I am a complete nut job and you might change your mind about loving me at any moment,” I replied, jokingly.

“Not in this lifetime,” Cole replied, making me blush.

We got up from the couch and made our way to my bedroom. When we reached the door Cole turned to me with a questioning expression on his face and I immediately knew what he was thinking.

“You can sleep with me,” I answered his question before he could ask.

“I was hoping you would say that,” he laughed.

Once we were inside I changed into my pajamas and Cole stripped off his clothes so that he was only in his boxers. I felt a bit nervous and unsure as I walked over to my bed and got in. Cole climbed in beside me but made no attempt to kiss me or anything in that line. He was probably still unsure of what to do around me since I was so unstable.

I laid down and watched as Cole laid down beside me. He looked really hot and I couldn’t stop myself from reaching out and letting my fingers trace down his naked chest. A soft moan escaped his throat as I did this.

I moved closer to him and cuddled into his arms. We didn’t have sex and we didn’t kiss. We just laid there together until we fell asleep. I didn’t battle to fall asleep with Cole by my side and surprisingly I didn’t have any nightmares. He really is good for me in so many ways.

The next day Cole had to go home to change his clothes and he had to go back to college since he missed a few days because of me. He is studying business and from what he told me he is doing really well. When he was done with his classes for the day he went home to get some of his stuff and then came back over to my house. I know everything happened a bit fast between us and although I was still feeling guilty I couldn’t help but feel like being with Cole was the right thing for me to do.

When Friday night arrived we headed to the airport to pick Conner up. He was really excited to see both Cole and me and I was so happy that I started crying. My emotions are still pretty screwed up. On the drive home Conner told us all about his college and then wanted to know how things were going with us. I wasn’t exactly sure what to tell him but luckily Cole realized it and he quickly started telling Conner about how he was doing at college. Conner seemed to fall for the distraction but I knew it would only be a matter of time before he would start asking about me.

We ordered pizza when we got home and then sat around in the living room and ate. It felt very familiar and I kind of liked the feeling.

“How are you doing?” Conner asked, looking directly at me.

“Ok I guess, Cole has been really great. He’s helped me a lot and I even remembered some things,” I answered.

“That’s awesome, thanks man,” Conner replied, turning his attention to Cole as he said the last part.

“You know I’ll do anything for her,” Cole replied. Conner looked a bit worried by his comment and looked over at me to see my reaction. I was smiling which caused Conner to look even more confused.

“There’s something you need to know,” I stated, smiling.

“Oh yeah? What’s that?” Conner asked, catching on quickly.

“Cole and I are kind of together,” I answered, not really knowing how to say it.

“As in dating?’ Conner asked, grinning now.

“Yes,” I replied, blushing.

“Well, it’s about time,” Conner chuckled, happily.

We spent the rest of the night chatting and laughing and when it was time to go to bed I led Cole to my room. Conner looked a bit surprised at this but didn’t say anything. I guess he didn’t think we were that serious.

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