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"Find what you love and let it kill you."
~Bukowski
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D O M I N I C
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As I returned from a quíckie with Mia in the bathroom, I looked around the room hoping to find Victoria. My heart sank when I couldn't spot her anywhere. Feeling worried, I asked a friend nearby about her, and they told me she had left half an hour ago.
Guilt washed over me as I felt like the most certified dîckhead on this whole planet
A wave of guilt washover me and every imaginable colorful curse danced on the tip of my tongue as I pulled out my phone and dialed Victoria's number hoping to explain and apologize. My heart pounded in my chest as the phone rang, but my hopes were dashed as it went straight to voicemail.
In that moment, even Mia's company failed to enchant me; her presence felt burdensome, weighing heavily on my heart. Frustration boiled within me as I cursed repeatedly "Fûck Fûck Fûck. Fully aware that I fûckéd up a big time.
without another thought, I grabbed my car keys and made my way to her house. After a tense half-hour drive, I found myself standing before her front door. With trembling hands, I took a deep breath and knocked, the sound echoing in the quiet neighborhood. When there was no answer, I rang the doorbell repeatedly, hoping desperately for a response, but to no avail.
Even though she's ignoring me but I was also Determined not to back down, I knocked her door, calling out her name with increasing urgency.
"Victoria! I know you're in there. Please, open the door," I pleaded, my voice tinged with desperation.
"Victoria!" I repeated, pounding on the door with frustration. "Open the damn door, please!"
"Tori, please," I implored, my tone softening.
"Just once, listen to me, please," I begged, hoping she would talk to me.
"Victoria, please!"
After banging furiously on her door, I heard the distinct click of the lock. Moments later, Victoria stood before me, a vision of beauty in her unicorn-print pajamas. Her eyes, though captivating as ever, were tinged with redness and puffiness, and before I could speak, she let out a tired yawn.
"What happened, Dominic?" she asked, her voice laced with exhaustion. "Why are you shouting at my door in the middle of the night?"
"I'm sorry, Victoria," I blurted out, noting the confusion on her beautiful face.
"Why are you sorry, Nic?" she questioned, her expression puzzled.
"I know you're angry with me."
"What are you saying? Why should I be angry?" she asked softly making my guilt double.
"Because I left you alone at the party," I explained, expecting her to be upset.
"Dominic, I'm not angry," she reassured me, her tone gentle. "And it's okay, really. It's not a big deal. There were plenty of other people to keep me company."
"But you didn't know anyone there besides me, Marco, Seb, and Chris," I countered, feeling guilty for leaving her alone with strangers. "And as far as I know, they were all busy with their partners."
"It's really okay, Nic," Victoria insisted, her voice tired but understanding. "I don't mind. Now, please, will you return? I'm really sleepy."
"Victoria..." I started, but before I could say anything further, she closed the door on my face.
I stood there, feeling a heavyweight settle in my chest as I stared blankly at her door for god knows how long.
Eventually, with a heavy heart, I turned and made my way back to my penthouse.
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V I C T O R I A
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I was crying, my tears refusing to cease as my heart continued to weep in agony.
Dominic had been incessantly knocking on my door, and I desperately wanted to ignore him.
I didn't want to face him at this moment; he had just broken my heart once again, and he wasn't even giving me proper time to collect myself.
How cruel!
"He was shouting my name while banging on my door continuously.
"Ugh...this stubborn man," I groaned,
Sniffing, I rose from the bed and wiped away my tears. Eventually, I gathered the courage to open the door, and there he stood, so beautiful that it hurt to even meet his gaze."
My heart clenched at the sight of him, his presence stirring up a storm of emotions within me. Despite the pain he had caused, there was still an undeniable pull towards him, a magnetic force that made it impossible to turn away.
His apology did not mend my broken heart, and I hate him for it, but more than that, I hate myself for allowing him to crush my heart again and again and again.
Shutting the door in his face, I broke down in the doorway. Now, I understand and fully accept that I was never his priority and never will be.
As I stood there in the doorway, tears streaming down my cheeks, I realized the harsh truth: no matter how much I longed for his love, I would always remain invisible in his world.
With a heavy heart, I vowed to myself that I would find the strength to move forward, to build walls around my heart so high and thick that even he couldn't penetrate them.
Taking a deep breath, I wiped away my tears and straightened my shoulders. It was time to let go of the one person who had held so much power over my emotions as I promised myself that I will protect my heart at any cost even if it means doing the things I fear the most.
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End of the chapter
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