How to Survive South Park

Realms and Realizations

"FUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!"

(("You're growing."))

"SHUT UP, T- what?"

Wait, when the fuck did the other accounts get so small?

(("They didn't. Remember Stan's Facebook account in that season 14 episode? It got close to a million followers and grew to the size of a small skyscraper. Not just that, but plenty of power came along with that size, something Stan's account made sure to brag about constantly during that episode.

For someone like you, that increase of power is nothing. Just a fraction of a fraction of a percentage of your base... but several billion is a lot more than several hundred thousand. Just give me a second to automatically friend everyone here and begin merging with this entire realm; I've almost taken complete control of it."))

'Well, at least this shit came with plenty of benefits. But wait, in that season 14 episode, Stan and his Facebook account were two separate entities. We entered this timeline and set up a social media account before going into this place; shouldn't my social media account be the one getting all this power?' I mentally ask.

(("When we entered the Digital Domain, I had us merge with the social media account we created. And before you ask, because I know you will, the way obtaining this power works is kind of like the power of faith in some fantasy stories."))

'Power of faith? So like how gods are fueled and grow stronger the more followers or believers they have?'

(("Exactly. It's like that but with the 'Power of Friendship' instead. Basically, everytime someone becomes your 'friend' either online or in the real world, your strength will grow a bit. Don't get me wrong, it would takes billions of friends to have a proper affect on someone as powerful as us, but we already have our own army made up of billions that fits the bill."))

'But that army is made up of robots and creatures like the Fledglings that instinctively follow us.'

(("Yeah, so? Just like how people online can have bots be their 'friends', the endless army of Dragon Bots we have are also programmed to obey you; to follow you. Same with the Legion."))

'Ohhhhh, I see... I won't become the size of a planet or something with all these friends, right?'

(("No worries, I just figured out how to condense your form, but you being titan-sized actually makes this next part a bit easier so that can wait."))

'Huh?' I ask before flesh and wires suddenly explode out of me, absorbing everything in sight.

'Uhhhh, you're seriously going to absorb this entire artificial dimension? Can you even do that?'

(("Now I can. We're gonna do what Exalted Toolshit did but better."))

'Is it safe?'

(("Of course it's safe. It's not like we're destroying it; more like... relocating it. To inside us. All these artificial programs should come in handy running basic functions and maintenance within it... should free up a bit of processing power."))

'T.K?'

(("Interesting, so that's where the ads little hideout is."))

'T.K?'

(("These methods of transportation for non-digital lifeforms are a joke. Well, I suppose that they were never meant to tread here to begin with."))

'T.K?'

(("Oh, come on! Why am I stuck on this crappily-coded hunk of-"))

*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM*