How to Survive South Park

South Park 64 Part 1 - Feathered F%#kers

Going back to the girls, I actually considered doing another run of Tenorman's Revenge in another timeline where it happens with the two, but T.K. suggested I go and do another one of the old South Park games with the girls instead.

The game I'm talking about is none other than the first South Park game created, 'South Park' or 'South Park 64' as it's sometimes called. It was released way back in December of 1998 and it's a first person shooter style game where you play as members of Team Stan and save the town from all kinds of crazy shit.

Going into a bit more detail (since that plot is basically what happens in South Park like once a week), a comet formed by the concentrated evil and maliciousness in the universe happens to head towards South Park, causing problems to spring up like mutant turkeys, deformed clones, killer toys, aliens, etc.

It's kind of like Tenorman's Revenge where some aspects of episodes from the TV show are used and built upon. Of course, this came out waaaaay before Tenorman's Revenge so there wasn't nearly as much to work with in this game, but they still did a decent enough job with it.

I'm gonna have Karen and Tricia play while I do some behind the scenes investigating with the comet and a few other things that may be useful for me if absorbed. I'll be tagging along with the girls too and giving them pointers here and there while altering the game to make it challenging enough for them.

I won't be half-assing their training; they deserve the best and will be given such.

Kenny and I already taught them the basics such as how to brace for a punch, how to roll to cushion a fall, how to close their fists to make a proper punch, how to go for the face and behind the knees, and so on.

Cthulhu (after Kenny, Timmy, and I lost) taught those two the ins and outs about their Netherborn powers. Kenny and I helped with that as well before Butters went crazy, but who could be a better teacher for that branch of magic then the fucking progenitor of it.

Speaking of the blond bastard, Butters (unintentionally) taught them basic survival tactics as well as how to play dirty.

With all those lessons covered already, I'll be focusing on other topics with them as well as introducing them to other paths to power. As for Team Stan, I can just have them take Chef's advice and stay home via mind control. That power is so convenient, isn't it? No wonder Timmy abused it so much.

Now as for how I'm going to power the girls up, I want them to become strong, but I don't want them to become fucking abominations like I am.

(("Hey, I take offense to that!")) So I won't be giving them Trapper Keepers, but there are plenty of other powers I can give them instead.

Those two already have the Netherborn class, but I can give them my evolved version as well as showing them how to use the basic life energy or chi everyone has which can be used for the Martial Artist class. I should also be able to give them access to holy energy and the abilities that use them through a similar ritual as well once I get a better grasp on it myself.

Using it myself is difficult since my soul is apparently super dark or something, but one of T.K's many current projects is finding a loophole around that limitation so I shouldn't have to worry about that issue for too long.

"So are we gonna go kick some ass now, bro? This break was nice and all, but you promised us that we could get back in action now, remember?" Tricia asks me and I nod.

"We'll be doing that after you and Karen finish breakfast. T.K. already found a timeline where one of the games I told you about happens. The first one."