Forever His (Book 2)

Chapter 77

We both woke up to the sound of Theo crying and both just groaned and then lay there for a moment. I gave in and got up after about 10 seconds of soaking in the sound. After checking his diaper I decided he must be hungry so I settled in to feed him while Chris lay behind us, watching closely. He kissed my shoulders and back while rubbing my arms as I fed Theo. "Don't start that right now, that's not fair." I sighed

"All I'm doing is being sweet with my wife while she's breastfeeding our perfect little newborn son. Just accept my affection without thinking there's something else going on. You can be sure that I won't try anything until you're ready but I will still probably grope you from time to time. That's my job as your husband."

"Your job is to grope me?"

"Uh-huh."

"You're something else, Chris."

"How are you feeling now?"

"Tired and sore. I still can't believe he's here but he's so precious and I couldn't love him more. We sure did make a beautiful baby."

"Do you want to try to stand up once he's done eating?"

"I'm scared but I'm willing to try, I'm still having some pain."

"I think that's perfectly normal, we'll go at your pace and we've already talked with them about you staying as long as you'd like. They said you could shower whenever you're ready and I'm happy to help."

"I want to try once he's back to sleep."

We sat there just cooing at him and talking to him while he was awake with a few visits from our friends before he fell back asleep. Chris very patiently helped me shower even though at first I was kind of embarrassed about the way my stomach was already looking. He hushed me, kissed my head, and then helped me do everything I needed. There was a very intense and intimate moment while I was standing there with him holding me up, kissing my head while he reassured and encouraged me. I just say back down in bed when we were done but Chris gently fiddled with Theo, stroking his face and little head of dark hair. "He's got so much hair already." he laughed

"Your mum said you came out with the same head of hair, you know."

"He's perfect, you did good."

He looked up at me with one hand still on Theo and I just saw the brightest sparkle in his eyes when he looked at me. It was a look of love, of all of his love for me. "I love you, Chris."

"I love you more baby girl."

"We're parents, love."

"We're parents, Cassie."

I wanted to cry, mostly happy tears but a little bit because the realization that my mum would never meet him hit me. The tears were welling up in my eyes and I looked away to try to keep the tears back. "What's wrong sweetheart?"

"Nothing, everything is perfect."

"Hey, don't do that with me right now. I need you to talk to me about whatever it is that just made tears well up in your eyes. They're not just happy tears or else you wouldn't have turned away from me."

I sighed as he came over and sat with me in the bed so he could rub my back. "I'm thinking about my mum and how she'll never meet him. She would adore him so much that we would've been fighting her to put him down and leave the room. When India was born she stayed quietly in the room holding her for at least eight hours so they could rest. She fed her, changed her, and soothed her. I know she would've done the same with Theo."

"Baby, no one is forcing you to have no contact with your mom. We can work on it if you want and everyone will understand."

"I don't want to be in contact with her, this was my choice but that doesn't mean sometimes it doesn't hurt or that I don't miss her. She's my mum, I'll always love her and wish things had turned out differently. I know that I can't have that anymore but it still hurts. I still just want my mum to be here but then I remember what she did, what she allowed Jess to do. It's unforgivable."