Forever His (Book 2)

Chapter 61

I don't know which part was worse, being woken up at 5 am to get on a plane or getting on a plane knowing how I'll be on it for 15 hours. Chris gave me chocolate and made me breakfast before he woke me up but I was still cranky. My brother and his family were also coming with us so I'd been deemed responsible for India and getting her cranky, sleepy ass on the plane. We were both on the same level today and I'm sure it would prove to be a pain in the ass for the Chris's later. After just a couple of hours on the plane, I was already complaining about my back and hips killing me while I paced around the plane. Chris tried to offer me solutions or help but I kept pushing him away. At this point, everyone on the plane is annoyed with me and I'm annoyed with them for everything. "Baby, can we please try some of those stretches and stuff your brother taught us? Let me help you, please." Chris pleaded with me again

"Fine."

He led me to the back of the plane where there was a big bed in a private room. I let him help me do each of the stretches without complaint but I struggled through all of them. They worked and I felt better but I knew it was temporary and we'd have to do this again before the end of the flight. I sat on the edge of the bed when I was done and just tried to relax. "Are you doing okay, sweetheart?"

"No."

"Talk to me."

"I'm just tired of hurting constantly and I feel helpless. As much as I'm enjoying being pregnant and carrying our son, this is starting to suck. I didn't expect it to be so hard mentally to do this, I knew it would be physically hard but I didn't account for the mental part."

"What do you mean?" He asked as he kneeled down in front of me

"I mean that I don't feel like myself and everything is so much harder than it used to be. I've got no independence now and that's always been what I pride myself on. I love that you take care of me and I appreciate it but this is a whole new experience. It's not about you, I swear, it's about me and feeling like I'm losing my sense of self. I know things are going to change with having a baby but I didn't know it would feel so scary or make me feel so distant from myself."

"I'm sorry, Cassie, I am. Is there anything I can do to help?"

"No, I don't think so. Just don't let me forget who I am or what I love to do."

"So I should encourage you to start writing music again and singing?"

"Yeah maybe."

"Does this have anything to do with your parents and going home?"

"Maybe."

"Did I make a mistake deciding to bring you here?"

"No, I'm glad we're going but I have always felt like a different person in Australia. But I'm excited to show you where I grew up and plus it's beautiful there. I'm happy, I am but I'm just struggling."

"I wish I could make it better, I wish there was anything I could do."

"You being here is enough and you taking care of me is enough."

"This pregnancy has been hard on you, does it make you not want to have more? I can be happy with just one. Maybe we should reconsider having more."

"No, absolutely not Chris. I know as soon as I meet him I'll forget everything I hated about being pregnant and want to do it again. Just promise you'll be this sweet with all of our babies and not just the first."

"I will always be this sweet with our babies and with you, especially while you're carrying our babies."

"I love you, Chrissy."

"I love you more, Cassie."

He stood up to kiss me sweetly before kneeling back down to kiss my stomach several times. This was becoming more common every day. He almost always has his hand on my stomach and likes to kiss my belly whenever he can. I do not mind it one bit, I think it's sweet and it makes me confident that our son will know nothing but love from both of us. "Maybe the plane ride was a bad idea though, maybe we should've picked somewhere closer." I told him as I ran my hands through his hair