Under The Influence: N 2 Deep

114. Sensational

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Shawnie's POV

"Do you want to continue this life with me or do you want to start a new one with him?" He asks with a serious face.

"Are you seriously asking me that?" I say in disbelief. "Really, Joe?"

"Yes. After hearing this conversation I think I have to ask. So?"

He just looks at me waiting for my response.

"I want you. I just told you not to question it." I say.

"Aight." He takes both of my hands. "I won't say anything else about it then. We will move on." I nod my head. "I know you will have feelings about this, and if that's the case, talk to me about it. I don't want this to come between us. Also talk to your therapist about it. I want us to work through this because I will not start a life forever with you and this isn't cleared up."

"I promise." I say

"Okay." He pulls me in and kisses my forehead. "I love you, baby."

"I don't know what I did to have someone that's so understanding and supportive. I'm sorry to put this on you."

"This wasn't your fault and I'm happy this was addressed. I'll take whatever you put on me, as long as I know I have every ounce of your love and loyalty." He says

"You do." I say. "I think I just proved that."

After that drama went down the rest of the night was fine. Christian left and the party continued like nothing happened. He was on my mind but I also knew that I made the right decision by being honest with Joe. I said I wasn't going to let anyone between us and I meant that, not even Christian.

I felt bad because he and I had talked about it and I told him I wanted to be only friends and he said he was okay with that. I really thought everything was cool. But I also feel like maybe I should've known something was up with how Shelby was acting. She literally took off her ring as soon as she saw me at his house that day. I don't know what type of conversations they've had but I know he told her about me. That was obvious.

I see the relationship that took place between us when we were younger really did a number on the both of us. Back then, I didn't think he cared much. I had no idea that it affected him as bad as it affected me. I wish someone we could remain friends and move past this, and just be happy now that we have reconnected but I see that can't happen. I'll deal with it as best as I can, but I worry for him. I want him to find what I have.

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We went to Catalina island and had the time of our lives. I only know because he told me so. The time we spent together was needed because of the incident with Christian, and also with life. We had some in depth conversations. He told me what he wanted and I shared the same. All of this healthy and open communication has been making me feel good. I know exactly what he feels and the same goes for him. That's what I love most about this relationship.

While we were there he told me he bought us plane tickets to Italy. He knows I've always wanted to go there and he said he's always wanted to go because he's half Italian and he stated he wanted to go to Samoa as well. I plan on making that happen for him. But the Italy trip is in a few weeks and I'm super excited about it.

We discussed the permanent decisions and we have decided to stay in California for now. We're going to see how our careers go, mine with acting and his with modeling and we said we will have the conversation in a couple of years to see where that stands. Two years. That pretty much goes for everything with us right now. We're serious but we're not gonna take the next step for another two years. We both want more kids but we decided we will wait two years to do so. He said he would have his vasectomy reversed, but that's not gonna happen in two years. He said he might get that done a little bit sooner.