Under The Influence: N 2 Deep

5. Jaded

Shawnie's POV  

When I woke up the next morning, it was still dark in the room and the TV was off. The sun hadn't risen yet but it was close to. It was still dark in the den but I could see. I looked around and was about to reach for my phone to go into the bedroom, but I felt someone's hand on my thigh.

I looked down and saw my feet were up on someone's lap. I felt the hand and felt a pinky ring. I looked at the person and I realized it was Aubrey.

"Aubrey?"

He starts rubbing my thigh. "Yeah?"

"What are you doing here?" I sit up on the sofa and turn on the light. He starts stretching, waking up. He was asleep sitting upright on the sofa with my feet in his lap.

He looks over at me. "Did you think I was going to let you just be in LA after last night?"

"But you were in Atlanta when I talked to you."

"And now I'm here. I moved a few things around and canceled a meeting, so I can be here with you for a few days."

"Baby... you didn't have to do that." I say

He takes my hand, "Well I did. Now tell me what happened. For real."

I know what this is. He flew all the way here because he didn't believe me. He wanted to get the truth out of me while looking into my eyes. I can't believe he flew all the way here for this, and on top of that, cancelled some shit.

"I'm waiting." He says, interrupting my thought. "And give me your phone."

I give him my phone off of the table and I straddle him. I wanted him to see me clearly and I wanted to see him. He was very bothered by what happened and it was all over his face. I understand though, I would be too.

"He called me, asking me to come over. I thought something was wrong with Gen, so I went. He wanted to talk. Long story short, he told me that he basically still has feelings for me. He said he is jealous of our relationship and he wants the me that you get. He feels I'm a different person then I was when he and I were together, and that he wants to experience that person."

"What else?" He says

"He asked me a bunch of different questions and one of them was if I was in love with you and I told him yes. He said if it was between you and him again, would the outcome be the same."

"And what did you say?" He asks

"I told him yes. I told him I married you for a reason and that I wanted to be with you. Then he said if I hadn't married you would it still be you, and I said yes."

"Are you sure, because I'm not feeling it. Why the fuck would you go to your ex-boyfriend's house in the middle of the night?"

"I don't know. It was a stupid decision, baby. I don't know why I did it. But I do have to tell you...he kissed me again."

"And you kissed him back, didn't you?"

"Yes."

He put his head down. He was so hurt. He paused for a few seconds. You could see he was fighting with himself.

"Did you have sex with him?" He asks

It hurt him to ask that question. He was so hurt and his mind was all over the place. I feel so bad and I don't think I've ever seen him this distraught.

"No. I wouldn't do that to you. I was only there for like minutes. I know you're feeling insecure but you're the only man I want."

"Yeah, right. I don't think I'll ever be okay with this. I love you so much and I just want to make you happy. I'll do anything to make you happy. I'm doing everything that I can but it seems like it's not enough. I can't get you away from him. I try and I try but nothing seems to work. I moved you to another country and he still found a way to get close to you. I feel like I'm losing you. This is a losing situation for me. I can't—I can't keep doing this to myself."