Under The Influence: N 2 Deep

63. Play Me

Joe's POV

A few hours later, I wake up and realize I'm still in her bed. I look over to my right, and I see her standing next to the bed, in her underwear, holding my gun. She wasn't pointing it at me, but she was pointing it outward towards the window and I got a little nervous because she doesn't know how to hold a gun.

I quickly scoot over to her side of the bed and stand up behind her. I was going to show her how to hold it correctly but before I could even say anything, she spoke.

"Guns used to scare the shit out of me." She says

"Guns aren't scary." I step closer to her and reposition her hands so she's holding it properly. "The people holding them are what makes them scary."

I raise her arms to the correct height, and lower her shoulders.

"At one point I felt as if I needed to get one to defend myself from Aubrey, especially after he tried to drown me." She says

"You don't ever have to worry about protection as long as I'm around...but if you want, I can take you shooting to get you over that fear."

I catch her looking at me through the mirror on the wall. I drop my hand and place it on her stomach, as I kiss her neck.

"Put it down and come back to bed." I step back from her as she puts it back on the nightstand.

She turns around and puts her arms around my neck.

"You say it like something is about to happen." She smiles

"We going back to sleep." I laugh.

"Right." She laughs. "I forgot you're celibate."

"I'm not celibate."

"Oh you just have a boujie dick." She gets into bed and I put the blanket over her.

I laugh, "I don't have a boujie dick, I just don't give it to everybody. We had this conversation." I round the bed and I climb in. I put the blanket over me and I reach over to her head, rubbing her scalp.

"I was having a lot of sex. Like a lot. I had to step back and look at my life. Sex was a huge part of my life and I wasn't really happy. Removing that made time for a lot of other things, important things. My mom was having financial issues and my sister was starting to have problems with her boyfriend. I felt they needed my attention. I was the primary man in their lives. So I had to make a decision, women or my family. I chose my family." I say

"You didn't want a girlfriend?"

"Nah, I was wild. I was fucking everything with legs. I had a bad relationship with sex, women, and drugs and I wanted to change. So I did."

"I love that you made a decision like that."

"And I make a decision every time I wanna share that type of intimacy with someone. I choose to go there with you and I choose to wait because you're not ready." I say

"Are you?"

"I don't know. That's a lot to take on. I don't have the best track record with commitment. But this isn't about me, you have things you need to get over."

"You're so patient with me."

"It's what you need. I know what we have and I want to keep this between us because this ain't for anybody else. I value this. I love when you fully open up to me and let me in. I like to watch you. You sit on the patio and stare at the water for hours. I don't bother you because I know you're trying to figure your life out, just like I had to."

She doesn't say anything.

"I'm saying that to say this, I want to protect this. Right now, if I decide to have sex with you, I know it will complicate things. I think we should try to remain as normal as possible and not let our feelings or sexual contact interfere with our day-to-day lives. There's definitely sexual tension and we've already established that something is happening between us but I think we should take things slow."