Under The Influence: N 2 Deep

84. I Get Lonely

Shawnie POV

The next morning, I woke up with my back to Joe and his hand on my hip. I didn't bother to look and see if he was awake or not. I just slid out of bed, careful not to wake him. I put the shirt I had on the night before and went into the bathroom. I washed my face, brushed my teeth and combed through my hair with my fingers. I felt good. I actually haven't felt this good in a while and I got great sleep.

I started to check my phone, but I decided against it. I haven't even been home. I'm sure there's nothing going on anyway. My dad said the kids are good and I haven't talked to Chris or Aubrey in a few days. I'm sure Chris has been communicating with my dad and I don't even know what to say about Aubrey. That song threw me. It seems like he could be back to his old tricks, but then again, it could just be a song and I'm over reacting. Honestly, I. Don't. Give. A. Damn.

I went to get back in bed. I turned over to face him this time, and he looked as if he was peacefully sleeping. I just lay there looking at him for a couple of minutes.

Joseph Anoa'i. I am going to be 100% honest with myself, and I am going to admit that I am very scared that I think I'm falling deeply in love with him. And it has nothing to do with physical attraction or things that he does for me, it's the person he is. I don't feel I can address this how I normally would because we have an agreement and it is absolutely crazy that I made this agreement and I had this realization the very next morning. But on the other hand, I do feel that he feels the same way and maybe he's holding back as well. That could very well be what's going on but I don't want to go off an assumption. I don't even want to have that conversation with him. I think it's best that I just keep this to myself.

I've been avoiding relationships left and right for a while now, and it seems like this one I couldn't avoid. Not that I was really trying to because Joe and I weren't really having relationship talks or anything, but I wanna say it really did come out of nowhere, but then again it was always there. I don't know, and this is the last thing I need. Aubrey was trying to put out rumors that Joe and I were together in the first place and now this. Like I said, I think it's best I just keep this to myself.

I lightly brush a piece of his hair out of his face. He is a beautiful human being. I remember that was the very first thing I said to him. I just stare at him and study his facial features. I never noticed he had freckles. That's cute

Joe popped his eyes open and looked directly at me. He chuckled for a second, then stretched.

"You're such a creep." He says, then puts his arm under me and pulls me closer to him.

"I was just admiring your face." I say

"My face? You're the one with all the beauty."

"Go back to sleep so I can look at you."

He laughs, "Watching me sleep says a lot."

"Like?"

"Well, negatively, it can mean you have a control issue or an possessive insecurity issue. Some people say that's true, but I don't know. I personally just think it means you have feelings for that person, and that you adore them. I actually think it's adorable." He says

A smile creeps up on my face. "Awww, you don't think I'm a creep." I laugh. "I don't think I've ever watched anyone sleep. You just caught my attention when I was getting back in bed."

"I take it as a compliment." He says

I lay my head on his chest and sigh. "I need to get back to LA."

"Yeah, gotta get to the kiddos." He says, getting comfortable under me.

"I could literally stay here forever. I like it out here."