Me and u-bill kaulitz

Back home

We got a cab back to the airport and the ride was dead silent. No one talked and no one dared to peep a sound. But I fell asleep to on Samara shoulder, she held me close in her arm while one caressing my hair. While I was in the process of falling asleep, I was thinking.. how did this happen and that Zion was right. If I listen to him, this probably would've had happened.
I was also feeling like I would never get rid of this habit, I was too used to it.
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(At the airport)
Me and my family(no dad😝)was sitting at the food table eating crepes in the middle of the night..we were all eating not daring to say a word.until Lyon said something.
Lyon-are you...good?
I stayed silence chewing my cold crepes until I was done.
Me-yeah."i said quietly staring at plate poking my at my food mostly trying to avoid eye contact.
Lyon-why."he said.
Me-why....?why what?"i say trying to avoid his question.
Lyon-why you'd changed."he said.
Me-cause..I needed to.
Lyon-no..you didn't..
Me-yes..I did..
Me-stop acting like you know what I go through..and if you want to talk about let do this at home..because we are not."I said quietly but stern making him stare with blank eyes for a second before staring at his plate.
I sit there kicking my feet feeling anxious and guilty because I feel like I'm shutting everyone out..I wanted smoke but I know I shouldn't.my eyes grow heavy feeling tiered and drained at all the action.I put my head down about to fall asleep but sadly interrupted at the loud speakers calling our gate number.
my body jolts up at the sudden sound.I stand up picking my travel bag and my suitcase as my family hurries behind me.I tried to walk faster to avoid any question I felt uncomfortable answering.we made it to the gate and we were third in-line thank god.
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(At home)
We made it home at 2:23.I was excited to see the band again I mean..I haven't seen them in 2 weeks.I was trying to decide if I should tell bill or not and decided no..I didn't want him to treat me nor see me different.we walk inside and I drop all my stuff on the floor to turn in a light,I grab all my stuff and ran upstairs into my room that I missed..I missed pink walls and my zebra stripped bedding,my pictures the smell of pink sugar berry blast.I close my door taking a deep breathe trying to calm myself down but that failed miserably,I started to cry heavily, falling on my knees.I started to undress while still crying it seems I couldn't stop,I changed into my pajamas.I walk to my bed moving to the corner of it,I lean my head back leaning it against the wall crying my eyes out.i pick my head up to see a pencil sharpener and suddenly my tear went dry,I played with my tongue piercing think wether or wether not I should do it,I stare at it for good minute before getting up and walking toward in,I pick it up and started to take it apart,after a few minutes despite to pull it apart I did.the blade drop flat on the table I threw the other pieces in the trash and I pick up the blade and held it against wrist I started to breath heavy.I put pressure against the blade and wrist and slid it down and it hurt but it hurt good(if that make sense)it's like all the stress left,I did it one more time.I walked over to the bookshelf to grab a tissue from the tissue box and put it against my bleeding wrist.I open my the door and gladly everybody in their room.I speed walk to the bathroom and close with my foot and turn on the cold water I peel the bloody tissue paper and flushed it down the toilet I put my arm under the cold water letting it rinse off.I stand there for a little until I see no more bleed out,I grab toilet paper and wrapped it around my arm I pull down my sleeve so nobody can see.
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(Next Morning)
I felt better today I got out of bed and walked to the bathroom to run the shower so it can get hot.I walk back to my room still with dry saliva on the side of mouth.I go to my closet and picked out an outfit

The fit: