BLIND DEVOTION : The Misconceptions of Me | B o o k 1 [EDITING]

Chapter 4: Just...Lonely.

Melanie's pov

I bought pasta while Mark took a hamburger with French fries. He must like that; he ate the same thing yesterday. The calm and cold air which circulated between us somewhat made me uncomfortable.
Okay, he had a quiet personality like me, but right now the silence seemed heavier. Somehow, I wondered if he was mad at me because no words escaped his mouth since the incident earlier.

He stuffed his mouth to its limit like how JB ate. Same friends same habits I guessed. I kept analyzing his gorgeous and interesting face: thick dark eyebrows, dark eyes, long Nubian nose, a beauty mark under his left eye and another one on the right side of his upper lip... and heart-shaped cherry lips. All gathered in a unique narrow face. Handsome. He felt I was looking at him...

"You keep looking at me right now..." He smiled.

"Huh... um," I mumbled. "Are you mad at me or anything?"

"No," he replied while shaking his head. That silence killed me for an unknown reason. We were both quiet today.

"I thought you were angry at me. You don't... talk."

"No. I'm usually quiet."

That explained the endless silence between us, but perhaps he hid his dissatisfaction toward me? Despite all the commotion I provoked few minutes ago, well more like a little one, I heard no thanks from him.

After taking a bite of his hamburger, he continued, "I'm quite spontaneous."

"Ah okay." I nodded with my mouth opened. I wondered how he looked like in an excited mood.

"I guess you are the same as me, you don't speak a lot either."

"Yeah, I'm also a quiet person. In high school, I had a lot of friends. I was the happiest then. In College, my silent temper surfaced once again."

"What happened?" he asked out of curiosity.

"Uh? I don't really know. I would like to know too..."

"You still have your friends, don't you?"

"Uh? I..."

His question flustered and wanted to hide myself. I ended up having deep thoughts about my social life. The true is I don't have a lot of friends. I have people I know, talk to, but who to call friends? I don't know. I somewhat lost them after high school. That situation when everyone had to go to different Colleges to pursuit their studies. In the end, we naturally became distant and forget each other.

When I first came to study here, I made friends, but again, some dropped out or changed school. Our lives were different. Was it an excuse to stop contacting each other? I wanted to keep in touch with them. I was always the one calling them and do things together. Nobody called me; I ended up being the one to make the efforts. Naturally, I quit. I still had three to four friends I talked to in random days.

"You've said that you were the happiest in high school because you had a lot of friends. That's why I'm asking..."

In only one phrase, he had to make me feel uncomfortable. Why did I start that conversation? I felt embarrassed; I could not tell him that I mostly was a loner?

A weak smile formed itself on my face while I watched Mark waiting for my response. He tilted his head in a slow motion to hear me clearly I guessed. His expression slightly changed when the wait extended.

He told me in a gentle tone, "We can change the subject if you want?"

I gulped and nodded or shake my head, not knowing what I wanted to do. I looked so vulnerable right now. Oh my God!