moonlight {h.s}

the 1

for the lovely reader that wanted this song to feature in moonlight, great minds think alike :) it's been in the pipeline for months

if anyone has a song they would love to feature in a chapter that fits harry and syd, comment here or comment on the poll on Sydney's instagram

Sydney

I gently pressed down on five different piano keys infront of me, making such an annoying sound but unable to stop. My mood was low but I had been ordered to finish a song by my label.

The sun was low and was creeping into the room through the large double doors. It was hot in LA so I was wearing a black mini dress and had my black kitten heels next to my stool, kicked off a while ago.

I had been writing but couldn't bring myself to play the song. We'd been dipping into it for a few weeks and I had been adding to it on my plane back from New York. It had started of light hearted, trying to be a moving on song. Now I was sad singing it.

I'd been in a mood ever since we got back. I let go of any anger at Jaden, I knew he wasn't trying to be cruel he was almost right to do what he did. Harry and I did need to talk, we still needed to talk but now it was all different.

I felt a new kind a heartbreak, a fresh one, a wound that I never saw coming. After we broke up, I blamed myself and took on a lot of guilt. It was hard to work through with Evangeline but we did.

Now, I hadn't done anything, it was all him. I was unbelievably hurt by him, it blinded any other feelings I had for him.

From behind me I heard a soft tap of shoes on the wooden floors, I turned and saw Willow with a sad smile on her face. She came and squeezed on the chair next to me, wrapping me in a tight hug.

"How are you feeling? Any writing?" She asked, stroking my hair softly. I tried not to cry at the gesture, it reminded me of Harry.

I nodded, "It's written I just don't want to read it. Makes me sad."

"Hey, writing is supposed to be cathartic, you always say that. Sing it, then you don't have to say how you feel." She explained, she was right.

I sniffed, "It's just so fucked Will. I can't see him the same way, it's like he's a different person now."

She gently rubbed the side of my arm, "I know, I hate him for it. I hate him even more than I did for breaking your heart. But-"

I pulled back, "But?"

"Don't be upset, just let me speak. You know how hard it is to battle with drugs, especially coke. If he told you he's trying to get sober, maybe he is trying to get sober. He went through that break up too remember." She had a sympathetic look, stepping gently.

I didn't say anything, I let her words hang in the air. For once, I didn't let the anger of my revelation cloud my judgement.

"You're right," I let out a long breath, "You are right and I hate that you are."

She chuckled, "I'm getting smart in my old age."

I shook my head, "You're too mature."

I couldn't see him right now but I couldn't blame him either. Despite the drugs, it was so hard to see him when I knew I still loved him. He kissed me yes, but I had no idea if the feelings were reciprocated.

If they even were, how were too recovering drug addicts supposed to work? He was back on tour, in Tokyo or Singapore.

Mitch had text me that morning, he apologised for not doing it sooner. He asked if we could meet when we were back in the same place, maybe after tour. He also congratulated me on Harry's album being 1, reminding me that I was part of it.