moonlight {h.s}

last kiss

Sydney

"So Sydney, how are you feeling this morning? How has your week been?" The smiley face opposite me asked, fiddling with her Mont Blanc pen.

I sucked in a breath, folding one of my legs over the other, "It's been fine, nothing really special. I wrote the letters like you said, and I started a new book."

"Amazing! Let's start with the letters. Did you just write to Jaden, or others too?" She asked, removing the cap off her pen and beginning to lightly scribble.

"I wrote to Jaden, a joint letter to Bella and Gigi and one to Kendall too. I couldn't bring myself to write anymore. It just felt...I felt ridiculous." I quietly voiced, staring out the window trying to spot the Arc de Triomphe amongst the buildings.

"Sydney we talked through this. The letters are not ridiculous, it's to help you remove some guilt you've been harnessing since coming to France. Your friends will appreciate you thinking of them and reaching out...okay?" She tried to reassure and I nodded.

"Okay, well, what book have you started?" She said, stirring the conversation to something lighter.

Some days I really just didn't feel like talking, especially about my own issues. I guess that's why I was here, to break down my walls and learn to discuss my problems.

"It's called One Day. I've heard of the film but I never read the book so I started it yesterday. Nearly finished it now. Some of it is set in Paris so it feels relevant." I smiled, drifting my eyes back to her and away from the swaying balcony curtains.

She nodded, "I don't know anyone who can read a book as fast as you, it's amazing!"

"I guess I've appreciated literature more whilst I've been here. I never really had time to read when I was between places and never really settled. Plus, I have to find something to do now I don't have a phone." I chuckled, feeling this conversation becoming lighter.

"Is that still going well, having no mobile?" She asked, adding a few more notes on her pad. They were in muddled French and English.

"Yes it's fine. The house phone rarely rings, only if it's you or the landlord or Marie at the bookshop telling me something new has come in," I paused for a second before adding, "And I've put that number in the letters."

Her face lit up, almost from within, seeing progress in my situation.

"I'm glad. I think it'll be a good thing, just so your friends know you're safe and you're well."

I nodded, "Yeah, I'm going to post them on my way home. I'm going through the park to read, then to the boulangerie and then home." I explained, and she placed her pen down before looking up through her glasses.

"That's sounds great...would you like to talk about anything else today Sydney?" She asked, and my heart started beating faster and faster.

I shook my head, "I don't want to talk about him. I want to but...I can't today. Is that alright?"

"Of course Sydney. This is all in your own time, you've made great progress and it's only been a few weeks. We can talk about him, when the time comes and you feel ready." She explained and I gave a small smile in appreciation.

I stood up from the sofa opposite her, brushing my skirt down so it lay flat.

"It was good seeing you today Sydney, have a nice day and enjoy your week." She smiled, and I nodded.

"It was good to see you too Evangeline. Enjoy the coast this weekend, take pictures for me." I replied.

"Of course."