moonlight {h.s}

matilda

you ask so you shall receive

Harry

I pushed open the pub door, peeking in and seeing who was around.

"We're closed mate, come back tomorrow!" I heard Will call out from behind the bar.

The Christmas lights were still up even a few weeks into January, making the place feel warm and cosy. I had missed it so much, even though I felt incomplete being here alone.

"Sorry Will, I can go if you want?" I said, now standing in front of the bar awkwardly.

Instantly, he appeared from below the bar where he had been stacking glasses. His faced was littered with confused and shock.

"Harry, hi." He awkwardly replied, rubbing the back of his head nervously.

"I'm sorry for just turning up. I know it's weird but I've been in London over Christmas and wanted to stop by." I explained honestly.

I'd tried to keep on the straight and narrow, especially as I'd been staying with my mum and sister. For the week I was up North, I had to act like nothing was wrong.

My mum was able to be fooled by my overly helpful and generous persona during the week, but Gemma saw straight through me. It was hard to get anything passed her.

"You better get your fucking act together Harry, you will not be coming back to this house if you're on cocaine. You do whatever when you're on the road, I know whatever I say won't stop you, but you leave it at the door." She said one day, pulling me into my room and giving me a big sister scolding.

I couldn't say anything back, I was so embarrassed and scared she would tell my mum. I knew how stupid that sounded but it would kill me for my mum to know how much a fuck up her son had become.

Since I'd been back in London, waiting out the next leg of the tour, Zayn had come to stay. He had also been in the Uk, staying in Bradford for Christmas with Gigi. She had alluded to my struggling state and he texted saying he was gonna come down for a bit.

It helped having someone at home who stopped the silence. The silence was when I struggled the most, trying to fill it with alcohol or drugs.

He nodded, placing down the glass that was still in his hand, "I felt like I'd see you, that you'd come by here. But I have a feeling it wasn't to check if I was okay, was it?"

I smirked, "I guess not. Maybe this is me admitting defeat, I want to know if she's okay, if you're in contact with her?"

His gaze hardened for a moment, "This isn't some twisted competition Harry. Who can stay away longer and hurt the other one the most? This breakup was the straw that broke her back. Pain has been building up for years and finally she gave up."

Suddenly the mood had changed, "No Will, I didn't mean that. I'm sorry. I have let my pride get in the way a lot recently and I just meant...I am worried and I miss her more than I'll ever be able to say."

He nodded, grabbing two  glasses and an unlabelled bottle from behind him.

"Come on mate, let's have a drink." He chuckled, walking round to me and ushering to a table.

He poured us both a glass and started filling me in on a little bit of the Sydney that he had got to know over the years. I felt that after so much betrayal and hurt, she had formed personalities for each person she knew, keeping her real self guarded at all times.

"I was so lucky to know her and her father, this is something not many people can say. She got so much from him, he also had that special shine she has." Will smiled, "I like to say that we're all dipped in different coatings in life. Some people are dipped in satin, gloss, flat but Sydney...oh Sydney was dipped in iridescent."